Reminiscence of Better Days
by RevolutionPirate
Summary: From the beginning, Kurogane Youou knew that Fai Flowright was going to make his life hell. But when the one thing he never expected happens,Kurogane strives to understand this boy. Somehow, despite it all, the two manage to collide together. Kurofai, AU
1. Point at Which Three Lives Converge

Welcome, lovely and patient viewers, to my fic! This story is/was my attempt at NaNoWriMo for 2009, albeit the edited version. In fact, there are still a few tweaks I'm wanting to make to the end and middle part. The beginning is mostly raw and uncut in terms of the plot, however. It contains more fluff than should be legal, and my utter failtastic attempt at some humor, as well as angst. There will be a shift in POV to first person later on, because I'm too lazy to go back and rewrite the entire second half of the fic. Sorry. It was NaNo, after all. Oh, and it is Kurofai-centric, but Fay's brother and other characters are included sometimes.

So, without further adieu, I give you:

**Reminiscence of Better Days**

_Chapter I: Point at Which Three Lives Converge_

Kurogane Youou, college freshman, thumbed through his paper as he slumped down in the over sized chair in the back wing of the Larkfield Mall. He took a sip of espresso (no sugar), and scanned the paper for errors. He was supposed to be writing a short story that incorporated the ideas of structuralist literary critique, then write a paper on how exactly it demonstrated said critique. The sign is composed of two parts: the signifier, and the signified.

Signifier...signifier...yeah, that part will do, he thought blearily. Now just twenty-four pages to go. This was not his day. He'd meant to go out with his friends Syaoran Li and Doumeki Shizuka, but now he was stuck in the back of the tiny mall just a few miles from campus, going over a literary movement created by some guy in the nineteenth century. Which, by the way, was entirely pointless if you asked Kurogane's opinion. When the hell was he ever going to use this crap? All he wanted to do was write fiction; what did it matter how he did it, so long as he got published somehow? Most would never peg him as the writing type. A bulky six foot three Japanese student with wine-red eyes was not the sort of person the Crestview language teachers expected to come charging through their doors. But he had, and he was one of the best students in his class.

With a disgruntled groan, he pushed himself out of the fluffy chair, gathered his papers and headed out to the upper level of the mall. As a writing-major at Crestview University, he was subject to this sort of things every week. Still, even though he was supposed to be used to it by now, it didn't make his feeling of wanting to push his face into the nearest desk any better. He passed by the Bath and Body Works store on his way to the escalator, and that was where he saw them.

Two identical young men, around his age, with lily-blond hair and eyes like lapis-lazuli, were standing with their arms around each other's shoulders, drinks in hand. At least, he thought they were male. They were a few inches shorter than Kurogane himself, willowy, yet carrying themselves in a graceful posture.

They leaned into each other, shoulder to shoulder, completely at ease. Suddenly, the one on the right pointed to a man heading to a department store and whispered something. One twin wore his shoulder-length hair in a ponytail, red square-rimmed glasses, and pants and a gray hoodie that were both slightly too big on him. Despite his somewhat more effeminate appearance, it was the other one that Kurogane gawked at.

The boy had on a rich purple scarf, the color of an eggplant, and matching beanie on his head. The worst part, though, were the skinny jeans that looked like he borrowed them from a friend's sister...who wore a size 3. His white shirt was covered in some sort of band name . Like his pants, it was also way too freaking tight. When the boy caught sight of the man his twin was pointing at, he giggled, a brilliantly soft smile lighting upon his countenance as his eyes followed the guy until he passed in front of Kurogane himself.

Their eyes met, and though Kurogane attempted his most ferocious and scathing glower, that was not sufficient enough to deter the boy from walking up to him at a fast clip. Kurogane tried pitifully to find a way to scurry away when he realized that his intense glare had not had the intended effect on the boy. The next thing he knew, the both of them were standing on either side of him, one of them in particular a bit too close to be comfortable.

"Hello, and who might you be?" The one in the beanie purred.

"None of your damn business," he snapped, tugged his arm free and skulked away. Or he would have, had the boy not clung to him and skipped happily (stupidly) along beside him. His brother, however, remained a polite distance behind the two.

"Aw," he whined, "That's not very nice, Mr. Blacky! Yuui, make him play with me!" The boy's face was overflowing with melodramatic tears as he stuck his bottom lip out. Yuui just grinned.

Kurogane snarled "Get off me, you creep!"

Yuui gently pried his brother's fingers off of Kurogane. "Come on, Fai. Don't bother him if he doesn't want to be."

Fai, it seemed, would have none of that. His antics increased; he flung his arms around Kurogane's neck and pretended to sob histrionically, clinging like death. Meanwhile, Kurogane counted to ten to keep himself from murdering the boy slowly (it wouldn't do to beat up a kid this scrawny, and besides, it went against his code of honor), and Yuui raised his hands in a hapless gesture.

"Does he alway act like this, or am I a special case?" Kurogane asked, cringing away from the hyper boy as if he carried a rare and horrific disease.

"What can I say? He isn't a theater-major for nothing." Almost as an afterthought he said. "I'm Yuui, and he's Fai, in case that wasn't clear already. We're visiting for a drama event that's being hosted here tomorrow."

A sensible person would have called security, but doing so would be a knife in the heart of Kurogane's pride. Instead, he growled at the blond boy. "Get off before I break your fucking arms!

Fai let go, an amused smile plastered to his face like a mask, unperturbed. Despite this, Kurogane didn't back away yet, determining whether or not he was safe to make a run for it to the Border's exit. "Mr. Black, how about we play a game?"

"No."

"Please!~"

"Why the hell'd I want to play a game with you?" He retorted. "You're freaking insane if you think that I'd want to waste my time around someone as batshit crazy as you are." The other one, Yuui laughed at this. Hell, he was pretty sure this Fai kid was insane regardless.

"If you win, I'll leave you alone."

The red-eyed boy considered a moment. "What sort of game?."

The boy, childish and entirely too enthusiastic about this for Kurogane's tastes, clapped his hands together in an overly-enthusiastic fashion. "Excellent! Play hide and seek with me, and if you can find me three times, my brother and I go on our merry way. If I find you three times, you get to take me to dinner," he winked at the last part. Kurogane shuddered. He definitely wasn't losing. Larkfield Mall was relatively small as malls went, and today it was uncrowded. Besides, he had home-advantage here, being a place he frequented often, whereas the twins didn't know their way around at all.

"What's he gonna do?" Kurogane eyed Fai's twin suspiciously. So far as he could see, Yuui looked innocent enough, not crazy like his brother, but you could never be sure. Yuui pulled a cell out of his pocket, as if that was meant to answer the question.

"Have you got a cellphone?"

Kurogane nodded, not quite understanding where this was going.

"Good. During the game, the two of you will keep in contact with me. The seeker can call me for a hint, once each round," he explained one hand stuffing the phone back into his pocket as he took a long drink of his orange smoothie. "Once the hider's found a place to, um, hide, he'll text me and I will relay the message to the seeker. And then we start the clock. Also, neither of you can change your appearance. For example, Fai's not allowed to take off his hat to make himself less easily recognizable."

"I don't trust this," muttered Kurogane. "You two'll probably cheat."

"Yuui doesn't cheat!" Fai protested, pale hands balled into fists at his sides, defensive of his brother. "He's always played fairly, no matter the consequences." Kurogane could tell from his tone of voice that perhaps the same wasn't always true of Fai. He felt the truth in those words, though, deciding to play. Remembering what Yuui had said, he made sure to ingrain Fai's outlandish clothes and svelte figure, along with other important identifying traits, into his brain for later.

"Alright, how much time do I have?"

"Twenty-five minutes, " the answered in unison. "Remember, you're being timed. Once the twenty-five minutes are up, we'll meet back at this spot, but you also lose the round if you can't find him before then. Don't worry too much about it, though. Neither of you will literally be hiding, per se. Just sitting in a certain store. That's one of the rules: You cannot wander, you must find a spot and stay there. And no restrooms or changing rooms," he warned. "You have to text me when you find him, and bring him back with you so I know you didn't cheat."

This time, Kurogane's mouth turned up in a wolf-like smirk. He loved challenges like this. The twins looked crafty, certainly they had won many times at this game, from the way they were both glancing at each other, then back to the taller boy. But Kurogane was prepared for whatever they threw at him.

"Got it."

Fai practically skipped up and down in joyous anticipation "Ready, Mr. Black? Close you're eyes until Yuui tells you it's okay to open them. I'll hide first!" And with that, he took off, a strange boy in a violet scarf vanishing into the small crowd.

As Yuui and Kurogane stood together in companionable silence, he heard the more placid twin ask quietly. "Sorry, I never caught your name-"

"Kurogane," he said, eyes squinted shut. He could see the light through his eyelids. Orange, yellow, red, a shadow darting here and there.

"Interesting name. Are you from Japan?" Yuui's curiosity was peaked.

"No, I was born in America, but my folks are."

Yuui hummed. "Interesting. So you're a student here?" Kurogane nodded. "What are you study-never mind, Yuui says he's ready. Time starts in three-two-one-go!" He waved an imaginary flag to signal the start of their game. "I'll be staying here."

The Japanese boy took off at a trot, suddenly feeling pressured. Where the hell was he supposed to start looking? He'd figured that the mall would be easy to navigate and make short work of Fai, yet it was proving to be quite sizable. Damn it, he thought, I underestimated. The first idea he had was to look into stores he thought the blue-eyed boy would like. Probably anything girl-ish or maybe a store such as Hot Topic? He started up the stares, figuring that was the best thing to do as there were many clothing stores in there. Oh, God, what if he'd gone into a departments store? That was like a miniature mall in itself. And so close to the holidays...

He fought the urge to hit something. He darted into the Wet Seal, then back out when he found no sight of the boy.

Eighteen minutes later, he was at the end of his rope (and the mall), when he caught a flash of purple in Victoria's Secret. Oh. God. He did NOT want to go in there. Fai was fingering a pair of lacy pink panties, seemingly oblivious to the fact that his pursuer was standing write in front of him. Then, he looked up at Kurogane through his eyelashes. Bastard. He knew just what he was doing.

Here goes any shred of dignity I have left, he thought, and walked into the store. People stared, naturally, at the brawny Asian who had huffed into their feminine flowery paradise.

"Gotcha!" His fingers closed around Fai's skinny arm.

"Aha! Mr. Black found me!" He squealed. Then, he held up a pair of blue lace underwear. "Do you think these would look good on me? I can never be sure if the color's right.."

Kurogane was going to end up murdering this boy, he could feel it in his bones. "My name's Kurogane, bastard. And no, pink definitely not- I mean, why do you want to wear something like that anyway? It's for girls." Nice catching the slip up, dude.

"But Kuro-chuu-"

"What the hell'd you call me?"

"Kuro-chuu!" he repeated, "such a cutie needs a fitting name. Kurogane is just so...scary sounding."

Of course, that did nothing to soothe the dark-haired boy's red-hot anger. "Don't call me something so girly, asshole!"

The entire population of the store turned to gape at him. Women, single and a few with their significant others, stood holding bras and perfume bottles and pajama bottoms. All staring at the commotion. Kurogane blushed deep red all the way to his ears, tugging Fai out the store in his abashed state.

"You know, you should tell Yuui you found me. I think the time's almost up, Kuro-pon." Fai suggested, sickeningly sweet smile planted on his face as he bounced up and down next to his new playmate.

He was right. Kurogane glanced at his phone and realized he only had three minutes left. Quickly, he texted "found him" and hit the send button.

"I'm surprised you found me, Kuro-tan." Fai marveled. "Most people wouldn't even think to look in a place like that, or they'd be too chicken to go in." Kurogane couldn't help but grin triumphantly. He was no coward. However, any gloating he might have had the chance to bask in was blown away by the feeling of Fai taking hold of his hand. "Kuro-tan is amazing! Hyuu~."

Trying to stop the boy from clinging like saran wrap, he shook their hands free. Fai was persistent, but willing to come to a truce. He settled for holding onto Kurogane's wrist instead. He supposed that way, he could tell anybody who asked that he'd been coerced into this. See, I'm not willing at all. Will you help me get this guy off, I think he might've escaped from a mental institution. Know of any nearby I can take him to?

They reached the center of the mall, where Fay sat on a bench, waiting for the two. As soon as he saw them, he flashed a smile at Kurogane.

"Nice work," Yuui congratulated him. "Are we ready to start round two?" Fai gave a thumbs up and Kurogane grunted in response.

"It's your turn, Kurogane."

The college student narrowed his already narrow eyes at Fai. "Make sure he keeps his eyes closed."

Fai already had them shut, and he covered them with his hands for good measure.

"Okay, Kuro-pii. Go hide now!"

Kurogane sighed and went in the direction of the bookstore. This was going to be a long evening. Still, he brightened upon the thought that Fai would never think to look for him there in Borders, because it probably didn't seem in character for someone such as him. Also, he could sit down with a book if he got tired of waiting.

Winning the twins' game was going to be a easier than he thought. At least, that was what he believed.

Nearly three hours later, with two losses under his belt, Kurogane was seriously considering throwing in the towel before his ego suffered any more damage. Fai, the bastard, was much smarter than he let on. He'd found Kurogane the first time in only half the time it had taken for Kurogane to find him. When he asked about it, the effeminate blond boy pointed to the papers Kurogane had sticking out of his pocket, the text side facing up.

"I thought maybe Kuro-bun had come here to get some work done," he answered. "The bookstore was the most logical place for that. Silly Kuro-chuu, trying to hide from me," He giggled. In a crazy, sadistic sort of way. Kurogane himself was positive that the young man needed to be on medication.

Kurogane wasn't one to admit defeat easily, but he was honest enough to accept it when he needed to. "Dammit," he growled. "Where do you wanna go?"

"Go?" Fai looked puzzled. "Oh, is Kuro-pon taking some place? How exciting!" He rocked back and forth on his heels.

"Dumb-ass, you said if you won I had to take you to eat!" He roared with a force and intensity that scared all the small children in the vicinity. And yet Fay remained, smiling as blissfully ignorant as ever.

"Mhm. I was only testing you, to see if you remembered," at least this time he hadn't referred to Kurogane in third-person with one of those ridiculous nicknames. "...Kuro-chan." Bastard!

Yuui cut in gently, "Shall we move on to the Food Court, then?"

Fai wedged himself in the middle of the two men, taking one of each hand on either side of him. Well, he made an attempt to hold Kurogane's only to find it roughly snatched away from him. ("Mou~ So mean~") So he contented himself with holding Yuui's hand and swinging it back and forth like a young child until they reached the Food Court. Only when he saw the pizzeria stand did he disentangle their fingers whilst squealing joyously.

"Kuro-chuu! Kurochuu! Let's get a pizza!" He chirped, slender finger pointing to the display of pepperoni pizzas, calzones, and garlic bread. At least he hadn't chosen something too expensive. This was in Kurogane's budget.

"What kind of pizza," he grumbled, reaching for his wallet.

"Pepperoni," they answered in unison. Finally, there was something they all agreed on. As Kurogane went to the counter to order, the twins found a nearby table to sit at.

"He's awfully cute," Fai mused. "I wonder if he'd go out with me?"

Yuui patted his brother's hand reassuringly. "I'm sure you could ask. He looks like he's pretty nice under all that grouch-pot attitude of his. I think it might be some sort of coping mechanism."

There were moments when Fai adored the fact that his brother was a Psych major. This was absolutely one of those times. Yuui was talented in reading people on a level Fai had yet to grasp. He could only achieve a fraction of the insight his brother had at times. Despite his gift, Yuui wasn't the judgmental type at all. He was planning to become a high-school counselor when he graduated.

"Yoohoo, over here, Kuro-tan!" He called to the large Japanese boy who was aimlessly searching for the the blonds, pizza tray and drinks cradled in his arms.

He approached them and set the food down. "I got coke for all of us. Hope that's okay." What the hell, since when did he care if someone didn't like something he did? If they didn't like it, Kurogane was supposed to tell them to screw off. Why was he acting this way?

"So, Kurogane, what are you studying?"

"Writing, minor in Japanese foreign language," he said, after swallowing down a greasy bite. "What about you guys?"

"I'm studying psychology, with a minor in anthropology."

Fai as it turned out, was not only interested in the subject of Drama, but also dance.

"You dance? What sort?" Not that he cared to know or anything like that, ridiculous...

"Mmm, show dance and breaking mostly. Nothing all that much."

Yuui countered "He's lying. He's very good at what he does and he's capable of performing in many styles. Even gotten a few awards for the breaking he does."

"Wait, breaking as in...break-dancing?" Kurogane asked, feeling a bit stupid.

"Yep, it's my specialty." He beamed at the praise. "So, Kuro-puu, do you live around here?"

"My name's Kurogane! Ku-ro-ga-ne." he bristled at the name calling. Though he should have been used to it by now, he fought Fai every step of the way. He wasn't getting beat by this kid. "To answer your question, yeah, I'm a freshman in at Shirisagi University."

They exchanged glances "That's where Fai's transferring to next year," Yuui told him.

"The theater program there is amaaazing." He said, all drawn out like that, and then he made that pretend-whistle noise that was already grating on Kurogane's nerves. Great, he'd have to put up with this cross-dressing weirdo for the rest of his college life. His mind began flipping through all the possible transfers HE could make to get away from Fai. He was shaken violently out of his desperate fantasy by the words:

"We can be roommates! Won't that be fun, Kuro-myuu?"

"Hn." This 'hn' in particular meant 'Yes, it would be delightful, if by fun you mean that it will never happen in a million years and if it does I will find a way to kill you in your sleep before you make me go insane sort of way, then of course.' Naturally, Kurogane didn't say any of this; he didn't even think it, really. It was more the feeling in his stomach and the voice in the back of his mind.

The were nearing the end of their meal, and Kurogane was hoping that the twins (well, Fai at least. Yuui was alright by him) wouldn't ask to follow him. Fai stretched his arms over his head. His white shirt moved along with the rippling of his lithe muscles as he arched his back. Kurogane, for a moment, caught himself staring at the boy. He was attractive, even as boys went, disturbingly effeminate and quite obviously gay, if the way he shamelessly flirted with Kurogane had been any indication. But it wasn't until now that Kurogane had noticed just how...captivating the boy with the flyaway hair and blue eyes was.

"Kuro-chii is staring. He's a pervert," Fai staged whispered to Yuui.

Of course, that made Kurogane balk "I was NOT staring, idiot. I was just thinking and happened to look over at you." Wow, that was a great comeback. Kurogane felt like hitting himself for that. He wasn't renowned for his quick-witted speech, but come ON.

Even Yuui had to bury his face in his arm to conceal his amusement. Fai winked at him, sidling closer.

"Was Kuro-handsome thinking about moi?"

Kuro-handsome had had enough. He strode away from the table and away from the boy that had made his night a living hell. Unfortunately, the maneuver hadn't worked as planned, and there was Fai skipping up to him.

"Get lost," he growled.

"But Kuro-tan-"

"I said get lost," he shouted, perhaps louder than he'd meant to. Still, the guy had to learn the hard- Oh, geez, not the tears. Wait a minute, they were probably fake anyway. Kurogane had no use for crybabies, especially fake ones. But the way Fai's sapphire orbs brimmed with tears and he visibly shook made it feel like a small hook was pulling at his chest. Maybe I actually scared him this time...

"Hey, I didn't say you had to cry," awkwardly, he put his hand on the boy's shoulder. To his relief, Fai made no sudden leap at him. He simply stood with his narrow shoulders slumped and turned away from Kurogane, gasping for breath.

"Hey, what the hell did I do?" Kurogane grumbled. It wasn't in his nature to comfort anyone. Even when his little sister, Tomoyo, had run crying into his arms as a girl, he'd simply patted her head gruffly and sent her to their mother. Who was dead now, by the way.

It seemed that Fai had a similar disposition to a girl, because he sobbed a little and pushed his face into Kurogane's chest. Now, it wasn't that Kurogane was necessarily a bad guy, he just didn't like to put up with people like this. He didn't DO emotions. Not to say he didn't have them, and he respected the ones who did emote, but he had zilch in the way of a clue as to how to comfort a crying blond boy in a matching scarf and hat in the middle of a large shopping center

"Oi, come on," he protested, "Get your brother to do this."

Very gently, for him, he lead Fai to a stand where his twin was reading a National Geographic magazine, skimming an article on the development of the arts of the twenty-first century.

"What's up?" But one look at Fai told him exactly what was the matter. "Fai, did you have a panic attack again?" Shaking, he bit his lip, trying to will away the flow of tears down his cheeks. He was only partially successful. Liquid filled his already watery eyes, making them appear even more blue. Yuui set down his magazine and helped his brother to sit down, wrapping his arms around the distraught boy as Kurogane stood on his opposite, helpless as to what to do.

So it hadn't been my fault at all, he mused, the bastard really should be on medication. Or maybe he already was and he had forgotten to take it? But if it had that bad of an effect on him, someone should have reminded him about it, he decided. Fai's face was buried into Yuui's shoulder, much like he'd done to Kurogane. Yuui, understanding, was soothingly stroking his hair. The sobbing creature abruptly pulled away.

"I feel..."

Yuui knew what he was trying to say, "You feel sick?" Fai nodded, staggering away. "Hang on, I'll help you to the restroom. Um, Kurogane?" He addressed the dark boy "Will you point the way?"

Once Fai had calmed down a while later, still clinging to his brother's hand, the twins decided it was best for them to leave. Fai was a few feet away, gazing into empty space with glazed eyes, unfocused and tired from his outburst.

"He gets upset for seemingly no reason," Yuui whispered. "Well, I know why, but I used to think he was simply practicing the dramatic arts. Pretty soon I realized that Fai had something wrong with him. "

Kurogane frowned. "Isn't there something that can be done for that?"

Yuui sighed, "Not especially, since we don't know what causes it. We've tried counseling, but Fai...hasn't responded well to it."

"Kuro-pyon," Fai piped up, closer to his cheerful self again. "Kuro, will you hold my hand?" He nearly declined, except the boy was looking at him with those beautiful eyes pleadingly, so he did what anyone would have done in the face of such well-played acting. Or perhaps it wasn't acting this time. No, this time the eccentric young man was being as sincere as he'd ever seen anyone.

He stuck out his hand.

When the trio arrived at their car, an aqua green Mitsubishi gallant, Fai reluctantly let go of Kurogane's hand. The smile he offered was dimmed to only half of his normal brightness.

"Thank you for helping me, Kuro-pi," he said, sincerity and gratitude evident in his words. "You're such a good doggy!~" Aggh, Kurogane shouldn't have hoped that Yuui's outburst would have taken his happy-level down a notch, but it seemed as though that was something that didn't happen easily, from the looks of it. Kurogane blushed at being thanked, but growled at the return of the nicknames, and turned his face away in an attempt to hide his burning cheeks. His shame didn't escape Fai, though, the bastard, and he reached up to poke his reddish cheek. "Teehee, Kuro-kuro's blushing~"

"May I see your phone a minute, Kuro-pon?"

"No," he snapped, without even asking what Fai wanted with it.

However, his snapping threw Fai into a fit of mock hysterics. "Yuuiiiii, he's so MEAN to me!" He sniffled in a way that was very fake to someone who knew what to look for, yet very convincing to anyone who didn't. Ok, this was just getting obnoxious. How 'sensitive' could a person be, honestly? He fished his cellphone from his pocket and handed it over to the whining boy clinging to his brother's shirt.

"No funny stuff, " he warned.

Fai's thumb ran across the screen, landing finally on a button. He held the camera up and gave a candid smile, then typed something with the keypad. "Yuui, smile for me!" CLICK! And more typing. When he was finished, he forked it back over to Kurogane, who looked at the device suspiciously.

"What'd you do?"

"Silly, I gave you our cell numbers," he said, as if that was the most blatantly obvious idea ever. Come to think of it, it probably was, but Kurogane was technologically inept. He could live without the damn thing if he had to, but his sister had insisted on being able to call and check up on him, and it had been a going-away present.

Yuui had already entered the driver's seat and cranked the engine "Fai, we've got to get back to the motel. You need to rest up for the competition tomorrow."

"Oh!" Fai exclaimed, "I almost forgot!" He pulled a ticket of sorts from inside back pants pocket. "I'd love it if you'd come to my performance, Kuro-myuu." There were those eyes again, and oh no, not the pout, that Kurogane had already fallen victim to more than once. They were the only feat that stopped Kurogane from refusing outright. Jeez, he was really going soft. The Japanese boy snatched the ticket from his hand.

"Hyuu, does that mean you'll be there?" Fai's joyous light that landed on his surprised face was almost enough to make Kurogane forget the fact that he was certifiably crazy and therefore someone to avoid like the flu. "The info's all there. It's tomorrow at five-thirty."

He stood on tiptoe and kissed the red-eyed boy on the his cheek, which flamed again. Then, before he could throttle him, he scurried to the passenger side of the vehicle and climbed in. Kurogane watched them drive off; Fai turned around to wave to him as they sped off into the lilac twilight.

He looked down at his phone, at the picture of the blond-haired boy wearing a purple beanie and a too-brilliant smile. A secret kept locked away in those pools of crystal blue. Something to be uncovered, ventured and gained, conquered, in Kurogane's mind. Fai was a puzzle, and maybe he could solve his mystery, but it was already proving difficult.

Yuui, on the other hand, was pleasant, mild-mannered and quiet in a way that Kurogane liked. In his picture, the boy with the glasses and ponytail was only barely grinning with his mouth, but his eyes held a gentle knowing smile in them. Kurogane had to wonder exactly what he knew, and if it was about Fai, and whether or not he would ever learn to come to understand the boy himself.

The twins were extremely close from what Kurogane had seen, with Yuui lending support to his brother in every way imaginable. It was strange to think of such devotion, yet Kurogane could identify. Ever since their parents had died, he'd been Tomoyo's most prominent figure in her life. He'd sent his sixteen year old sister to live with their stepsister Kendappa, fresh out of college herself and starting a new life with her girlfriend Souma. Tomoyo, bless her, called him more than once a week. And yet, he could not fathom being so close to a person, trusting them so much that you placed yourself in their hands whenever something was wrong. Being like the twins...it was a foreign idea to him.

He decided to buy another latte on the way back to his dorm, one with a double shot of espresso. Those papers were calling his name, and he was going to need all the caffeine he could get if he wanted to survive this essay after such an eventful day; he could feel the migraine forming already.


	2. Delve a Little Deeper

A reviewer helpfully pointed out to me that I often mixed up the twins' names in the first chapter. Originally, I had wanted to use their "real" names, and later I changed my mind. Needless to say, using the 'find & replace' tool can be confusing. Anyway, the first chapter should be free of naming errors now, and I'll be more careful in the future. :)

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**Reminiscence of Better Days**

_Chapter II: Delve a Little Deeper_

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"Alright, try again from the first line, Fai," his stage manager directed. The play they were working on was for the winter musical. They were putting on the finishing touches, having already got the kinks out, for the most part. There were, however, still a few issues. Such as the fact that Fai always stumbled over his first line. It was meant to be delivered to his friend Himawari, who was playing his girlfriend. Unfortunately, he never could get himself to sound like he actually was sincere about the whole thing. Yuui joked that it was because he was gay.

But that should not have had anything to do with it; a great actor could transform himself at will, on a whim. He had to be able to do this if he had any hope of getting that degree in theater. This was getting very frustrating for Fai, who was normally an incredibly even-tempered person, aside from his emotional outbursts. Even so, Fai tried again.

"Lovely, dearest of mine, it hurts me so that you've betrayed me," he said. He put his hand over his heart to demonstrate his agony. There, hopefully that was enough for Ms. Oruha

Himawari delivered her line with perfection, all the right inflections and creasing of her brow in criticism. "It isn't betrayal if we were never truly united in the first place."

Ms. Oruha clapped, "Bravo! That's precisely what I wanted to see from you, Fai. Now, shall we move forward." The class gave a collective 'ay'. "Next scene then. Seishirou will enter from stage left, and Watanuki from the trapdoor. This scene is one of the most important, kids. Let's get it right. Okay, from the top..."

And with that, they set about to their places.

"So, how was it?" Yuui asked about the rehearsal. They were at a sandwich shop on campus. Fai had ordered a chicken-Caesar wrap, and Yuui a turkey club.

His brother twisted his fedora around on his finger, replying "Nailed it. Ms. Oruha says that if I can manage to do well on this, I'll have an A on the final."

Yuui smiled. "That's wonderful, Fai." He got a noncommittal hum in response. He knew his twin well; that meant that Fai was trying to contain his excitement by feigning indifference.

"Do you think maybe Kurogane will come to the show?" His eyes dance about Yuui's face, twin moons, in a concerned a hopeful fashion.

"I don't know," he said, "Honestly, he doesn't seem the type." Fai's face fell. "But I think I can find a way to convince him, ne?" Fai launched himself into his brother's arms, halfway sprawled in his lap.

"Thank you! Mwah!" He kissed his elder brother on the head.

"Mhm. Now, can I eat my sandwich, please?" Fai laughed like a maniac and slid off into his own seat. "I think I can definitely get him to come to the performance," he whispered to himself.

The night of the play, the cast was one jumbled ball of nerves. Like flies caught in a spider's web, nothing worked to soothe their sweating palms or butterflies. The orchestra was setting up in the pit. Everything was set to start. Where was Kurogane? Fai scanned the crowd, but didn't see the Japanese boy. How disappointing that he wasn't able to get him after all. Unless... there was a streak of blond hair pulled up in a low ponytail, dragging someone through the crowd of people to the backstage area. That someone was tan and very tall, with spiked black hair. He ran to the door and opened it.

"Tada," Yuui said, an ironic pride in his voice, presenting the boy to Fai like a hard-won prize.

"Kuro-chuu~" He chirped, nuzzling against the man like cat. 'Kuro-chuu' growled and crossed his arms, attempting to step backward.

"I only agreed to meet you here because he," jerked his thumb at Yuui, "Told me he was buying dinner afterward, and I'm sick of living off ramen."

Fai slid his eyes sidelong to meet his twin's. "How clever my Yuui oniichan is!" They exchanged discreet low-fives.

"Where the hell am I supposed to be sitting?" They all stared at the chairs that were almost completely filled. Yuui grabbed him by the shirt and pointed to a seat in the front row.

"You've got VIP."

Kurogane started toward the door, turning around briefly to tell Fai to 'break a leg, or whatever'. The willowy boy blew a kiss to him as he headed for his seat. And he loved the fact that he got to see Kurogane's ears turned red before he could hide it. Oh, how adorable he is, Fai thought, a blissful smile alighting on his pretty features.

"You are so crushing on him," Yuui cut into his daydreaming. "It's cute."

Fai was, of course, unabashed, although he pretended to be. "You can tell? Really?" He held his face in his hands "Yuui, you're making me blush." Which was entirely not true, because Fai rarely, if ever blushed, and Yuui knew that. It was all part of his act.

"Oruha says you're on in five, Fai," Watanuki called. He was helping Himawari into her elaborate dress, a Lolita-esque yellow frilly piece, with tear drop jewels lining the bodice, and a little bow to match. Her normally pigtail-bound black hair was piled in a lose half-knot on top of her head, the rest cascading down in waves. And Watanuki was cooing and fawning over the girl whom he had long ago deemed his 'beloved Himawari-chan~'. Personally, Yuui thought he wasn't at all suited to her, in fact, it was best to stay far away. For even though Himawari was a sweet girl, she had a rotten stroke of luck. Well, not stroke so much as her entire existence was one traumatic, unlucky event after the other. And rumor had it, anyone who got too close was bound to share in her curse of misfortune.

"Fai, time to go," Oruha told him. The actor adjusted his fedora and coat-tails, grabbed his cane, and sauntered onto center stage prepared to stun his audience...and more importantly, Kurogane Youou.

It was odd that the boy who had accosted Kurogane in this very place could be transformed so thoroughly. On stage, he was a completely different person, beatific smile cleaned from his face, replaced by a tiny slant of eyes, a sleight of hand, all to captivate his audience. Kurogane thought he might have been the best thing about the entire play, but he did not admit that to himself, because admitting that would be admitting defeat. But when the entire audience rose to its feet to give him a solo standing ovation, his gut wrenched; at least he wasn't the only one who felt that way about it.

He hadn't known that dinner meant going out with not only the twins, but their theater friends as well. Mainly they were Fai's friends, but Yuui got along just fine with them. They were at a corner table, a round booth, all six of them. Yuui, Fai, Kurogane, Seishirou, Watanuki, Himawari.

"Fai, that was amazing!" Himawari clapped. Watanuki joined in in effort to impress her.

"Yes, quite talented if I may say," Seishirou chimed in. Of course, Fai bowed theatrically, yet otherwise took the compliments with a refined grace.

"Thank you all," he said politely (Kurogane knew the bastard was capable of normalcy; the prick), then he turned to face Kurogane. "But I can't help but wonder...how did Kuro-chi like my performance?"

Torn between wanting to give Fai the honest answer (that he'd been riveting, and not only because of his acting) and embarrassing himself, he decided on the neutral option. "Not half bad." Secretly, he was hoping that Fai wouldn't burst into hysterics at 'Kuro-meanie's' lack of appraisal. Nothing of the sort happened, however. To his surprise, the young man beamed at him.

"Uwah! Kuro-bun likes me!" He flailed around, almost knocking his drink over, trying to hug Kurogane. He really spent too much time with Watanuki.

"I never said that! How the hell does saying a person's acting wasn't half bad mean the same time as liking a person?"

"Hyuu! It's so cute when the puppy gets angry. He's all growly. GrrgrrrRRrrawr." Fai did a bad imitation of a growl, and fell over against Yuui in his mirth. "Ahahaa...so grumpy."

Had they not been in polite company, Kurogane might have reached his hand across the table and slammed Fai into it to make him shut the hell up. As it were, he glared daggers at the blue-eyed boy, who remained unaffected by it. Damn, Kurogane had to step up his game as far as Fai was concerned. The twin always seemed to remain one step ahead of him. Fai decided to humor him, though.

"Oh no, Big Puppy Kuro-wanko is angry!" He pinched Kurogane's cheek. "I think he might be foaming at the mouth. He's vicious!"

"Leggo uh muh hreakeen haysh, ah-herd."

Himwari giggled. "Aw, the two of you are so sweet together. Have you asked him out, yet, Fai?"

Fai automatically dropped his hands, shoving his brother out of the booth. "Excuse me, I need to go outside for a moment." Yuui made to follow him, but he declined gently, telling him to order for him if he wasn't back in a few minutes.

"He's not...?" Kurogane asked.

Himawari fidgeted in her seat, looking regretfully sorry. She glanced sideways at Yuui, "I didn't mean anything by it, really."

"I know, I think he's just being hypersensitive," Yuui replied, pinching the bridge of his long nose. "Still, you never know with my brother. Let's give him a bit of time to work it out himself."

Minutes trudge by, the food was delivered, the silence that pressed in from all sides had waned by the Kurogane debated whether or not to see to him. Obviously, the girl's stupid comment had struck a nerve. Not that it was her fault; the idiot should learn to deal with his own bewildering sensitivity, because the world wasn't going to. In the end, it was Yuui who made the decision for him.

"Will you check on Fai for me? I'm afraid his food will get cold if he waits much longer."

As Kurogane scooted out of his place in the booth, he could not help but wonder at these odd twins and their secrets. Yuui obviously knew more than he was willing to let on, and yet he was willing to let Kurogane go to his brother; a stranger, someone they barely even knew. It was extraordinary what people could do some times when it came to their loved ones. It was the sort of thing Kurogane himself would like to write about one day, maybe, if he could find a way to tie it all together.

He opened the door, stepping into the crisp air of the night, spotting a hunched figure sitting on the curb of the restaurant's sidewalk with his knees bent. He rested his face in his hands.

"Oi."

Fai looked up, a gasping sob, at the sound of the recognized voice. From the dim streetlight outside the building, Kurogane saw the watery red in his baby blue eyes, the tear-tracks down his pale face. For a moment, anyway, until Fai buried his face in his hands again and let out a ragged breath. Not quite a sob, but not a normal breath either. Kurogane thought maybe he was trying to calm himself down. He had no idea what he was doing.

"Hey, idiot," he leaned down to clasp Fai's heaving shoulders. "Your brother says you should come eat. If you want," he added. "And you scared that girl." He saw the lithe, broken and fragile young man nod against his hands, mumbling what sounded like an apology.

"Help me up, Kuro-tan?"

Kurogane grunted, pulling Fai by his hands easily to a standing position. Fai's shoulders, though, remained less than upright, and he simply swayed there a moment, trying to catch his bearings. Kurogane never asked what was wrong with him. Whether it was out of respect or fear, Kurogane was to afraid to answer. After a few minutes, he understood that Fai probably did not want to be the first one to go in. With an 'argh' of irritation, he latched onto Fai's wrist to drag the boy behind him and into the restaurant. He dropped that hand as soon as they were in sight of the table.

Fai slid back into his previous spot beside Yuui, who halted his eating to put an arm around his waist and rub his back gently. No one said anything about it. Himawari looked worried, Watanuki fidgeted, and Seishiriou rested his cheek on his knuckles, having already finished his meal.

"Er, Kurogane, where do you come from?" Himawari was making an attempt at conversation. Normally, he couldn't stand suck-ups like this girl, but for the time being he considered that he wouldn't be helping the atmosphere, and cleared his throat to answer.

"Crestview University," he grumbled.

"Oh, is that the one just a ways from here?" He nodded. "What are you planning to major in?" God, what was with all these fucking stupid pointless questions?

"Linguistics, minor in creative writing. And some translation on the side."

"Ah, then you speak Japanese?"

"Yeah."

"I wish I could, I was born here, though, and my parents are second generation," she spoke softly, "It's a pity really. You'll go far in life if you can implement that somehow into a career."

"Thanks."

Yuui, with his super spidey-senses, knew when it was better to leave his poor brother be. "Um, shall I call for the check then?" They all agreed. "And Fai, I'll get a to-go box for you." Fai murmured sleepily from against his shoulder, and Fai shot them all an apologetic smile.

"Well, it was nice to meet you, Kurogane." Himawari shook his hand eagerly, bowing just a little. It seemed she did have a bit of her heritage culture ingrained into her after all, despite her proclaims.

"Hn." Which was the best she was getting at the moment; he kept glancing toward Fai. Himawari gave a tiny 'oh' when she realized that the red eyed boy was preoccupied.

"Well, goodbye then, all." She patted Fai on the hand, smiling. "Please feel better soon, OK?" He smiled back, marginally.

After they'd said their goodbyes, apart from the twins and Kurogane, they offered him a ride back to his campus.

"I'll walk," he said, "It isn't that far anyway."

Yuui kept insisting, however. "We're headed that way, and we really don't know when we'll be seeing you again," he told him, rueful look upon his face. Fai nodded, tilting his blue eyes to meet Kurogane's fiery red ones in quiet gaze of hopelessness that made Kurogane reluctantly acquiesce.


	3. You and I, Here

As I warned, here begins the chapter where the POV switches to Kurogane's first-person. About 70 percent of the rest is like this, with a couple of chapters/scenes from Fai's POV. Originally, I wanted to do some Kurogane character writing, to get the feel of him. Hopefully he's not horribly out of character? Tell me what you think!

**Reminiscence of Better Days**

**Chapter III: You and I, Here**

As it so happened, I didn't see the twins for another month. The next time we crossed paths, Yuui was dropping Fai off at Crestview campus. They had called ahead, asking to me to meet them to help Fai get settled in.

"Why'd you transfer, again?" I questioned, trying with good effort to keep the irritation out of my voice; Fai was a handful, I knew as well as anyone, and seeing as how I'd witnessed the guy's erratic behavior thrown at myself more than a few times.

"I plan to get my certification here," he answered. Tch, and what exactly was wrong with getting it at his old school? "I'm a sophomore this year, Kuro-rin."

I nearly blanched. I'd had no idea this kid was older than me. Wow, way to make me feel like a loser. That wasn't easy to do, and this guy had hit me hard with just a couple of words. I watched him, dressed in yet another scarf and a hat- a white fedora this time, with simple black and white striped scarf. Geez, this guy had to shop with girls. No self-respecting straight guy would ever wear something like that. Then again, I doubted he was straight and I SERIOUSLY doubted that he was self-respecting. Come one, this is the person who did handstands in front of crowds for no reason whatsoever.

"Kuro-rin, aren't you going to offer me your bed?" He pouted. What a dumbass. Did he honestly think I was going to fall for that crap? Nope, I wasn't falling for his fluttery-eyelashes bull. It'd worked last time...only because I didn't know what I was dealing with. If there was one thing I prided myself on, it was my ability to know when someone's bullshitting. And right now, my radar was blaring like a siren.

"No, didn't they give you a dorm?" I scoffed.

"Well, yes," he admitted, clasping his hands together in front of his cheek, trying to be cute or something. "But I was hoping Kuro-pi would tell them that he loves me so much, he just cannot stand to part from me, and they would transfer me to his room!" He squealed like a grade school girl.

"Dammit, stop with the nicknames, asshole! Maybe if you'd quit, I'd think about it. Right now, though it doesn't make me want to help you out," oh. my. god. I'd just said the worst thing possible: I made him think he had a chance. I nearly scrunched my eyes closed, but I knew that'd be a dead giveaway. Fai was crazy, yes, but he was just as smart, if not smarter than me.

"Oh..." Shit, he'd found me out. "So if I'm good, Kuro will let me stay with him?"

"I never said that."

"Oh, but you certainly implied it." He was so smug, damn him. He shifted the small box he carried in his hands and grinned impishly. "What fun we'll have together, Kuropon!"

"Hn." Kill me. Now.

"Do you think we'll have classes together, hm?"

Normally, I'm completely against someone giving up on life, even when life gives up on them. But this guy...Please, I thought, give me a gun, a knife, anything to get me away from this whack job.

"Well, here we are!" He exclaimed, twirling around and being generally annoying in his usual way when we arrived at his room. He struggled with the box in his arms to get to his keys. "Hold this for me, won't you?" And without asking, he shoved the package into my hands. I grunted with the weight of it; it was surprisingly heavy.

"What the hell's in here?" I wondered out loud to myself. Fai, of course, was all too happy to answer.

"Yuui baked me some things," he told me, "Want some, Kuro-pi? I'm happy to share."

"That is WAY to much sweet stuff," I remarked, flipping the box open to see a dozen types of pastries. The guy had fifteen pounds of confectioneries all to himself? And he was that skinny?

My stomach felt sick at the mere thought of eating all that sugar. Contrary to what my friends thought, I didn't completely hate the stuff if it was made the right way, but I didn't want to cram fistfuls of it into my mouth all at once. Like some people I knew. Fai was pouring himself some fruity-tea drink and cutting a piece of strawberry cake with such precision you'd think he was performing brain surgery. All the while I was left to put up his overload of "stuff". I mean, I don't think I wanted to know why he had an entire small bag of various scarves of different colors, all looking like they came from the girl's section of a store. Or the fact that he had a box labeled 'makeup'. Well, in his defense, he was an actor, but with Fai you could never be too sure about anything. I shoved the box into his closet space.

Twenty minutes later, he hadn't lifted a finger to help unpack his own boxes. "Oi, and what do you think you're doing?" I pressed. Putting away his things wasn't taxing, but the fact remained that they were HIS things. I vaguely wondered how I'd gotten stuck doing the hard labor as Fai sat there holding his tea with his pinkie pointing outward.

"Taking a break," he replied, like I wasn't able to see for myself exactly what he was doing. "Walking all that way was soooo tiring."

"You walked maybe two hundred feet!"

"Ooh, yes, speaking of which mine are killing me! Would you give me a massage?"

I swear I almost threw his boom box at him from halfway across the room. Somehow, I managed to not.

"You can put that over here by the bedside, if you don't mind," he said.

"As a matter of fact, I do" I muttered under my breath. I set the stereo down harder than strictly necessary. Much harder. Fai, being oblivious as ever, didn't hear me. Not that I would have cared if he did. It was time the dumb ass learned that I wasn't his babysitter, no matter how delicate he and that genius brother of his made him out to be.

"But Kuro-myuu," he whined. "You have to help me set up my table. I've got no idea how to put it together."

"Read the directions," I growled. He didn't pay me a lick of attention, instead focusing on a specific part of his nail. Blondie was so much more tolerable when his brother was around to translate his actions. As it were, I had no idea why he'd suddenly decided to drop the subject. It wasn't like I'd asked him about his dead relatives.

"Ne, will you show me around campus when we're finished unpacking, Kuro?" He flashed his blinding white smile in my direction. Fortunately, I had my Anti-Moron-Smile-Protection, and just glared at him. The grin dropped off his lively face, turning into something that was almost a frown. "Well, some other time then," he decided. The guy just wouldn't admit to losing. For a second, I though he was going to cry again, or worse, panic. I almost felt bad.

"Yeah," I said uncertainly, "I have to finish proofreading an essay that's due tomorrow but you can," damn it, one of us was going to die when this ended, "come over and meet the guys at around seven." Had I really just said that? Apparently, he also had the power to rob me of any pint of dignity I thought I possessed. Face, meet palm.

Fai practically glowed, crooning on and on about what a nice puppy I was and how he couldn't wait to tell his friends back at his old school that he was dating the most wonderful Kuro-ru in the world.

"We're not fucking dating, moron!"

"But you are going to show me off to your friends," he squealed, and suddenly I had an armload of gangly boy, "that's only a step below taking me to meet your parents."

"That's never gonna happen," I mumbled. All too soon, I realized what I had said, and hoped that he wouldn't catch it. Touche. Hadn't I been thinking of talking about HIS dead family just a few minutes ago? The last thing I wanted was to have to spill my life's story to this whack-job. Although he probably had more interesting tales than I did, which was saying something.

Of course, he interpreted my words in a different way. He fled from my lap, curling into a ball of "agony" "Waaaai! Kuro-bun doesn't think I'm good enough to meet his parents." Then he stood up, touching his finger to his chin in a thoughtful looking manner. "Though I suppose we are moving a bit fast."

Really? I didn't think we were moving fast at all. In fact, were we even moving? And where? I didn't understand this boy in front of me. It was so hard to tell when he was acting and when he acting out on his anxiety. And sometimes, those smiles were to much like a doll's plastic one to be completely real.

"...Kuro-rin, Kuro-chuu, Kuro-tan Kuro-"

"What the fuck do you want?" I swore loudly. "You know what? You can come over if you promise not to use any of those stupid nicknames." There I'd set the terms and conditions, laid down the law.

He nodded so hard his white-blond hair went flying into his face, blinking innocently. "Of course. I won't call Kuro-pon names if it embarrasses him around his little friends." Fuck. This. Obviously, I'd not laid down the rules explicitly enough. I'd have to remember that for next time.

"That's not what I meant!" Fai just clapped his hands together like an idiot, not that I was expecting much less.

"I'm leaving," I told him and set down the trunk I was to frustrated with him to deal with even being around his cheery, hyper-spastic presence. "You can unpack the rest of the stuff yourself," I said as I walked to the door. His face fell, but he planted a smile back on so fast that I almost couldn't tell.

"All right, then. I'll meet you at seven, then. Which apartment did you say?"

I realized I hadn't, so I fixed it. "Four oh seven. Don't bother being early, I won't get out til six fifty at least."

"Ok." God, he was being way to quiet. I had to ask...

"Are you okay? If you feel...sick." I didn't know how else to put it,"you can stay at my place. I think Fuuma's out with his boyfriend, so you can take his room." From the look on his face, it looked like he was desperate to take me up on the offer. I was sure I'd end up regretting it later if I let him come over, but I'd regret more leaving him alone in a strange place.

"I'd like that very much," he whispered, barely audible. "But I've inconvenienced you enough as it is, Kuro." I noticed he left off the nonsense syllable at the end, even if it wasn't my real name. I also realized it was probably as good as I was going to get from him.

"You're not trouble," I mumbled, "Damn it, come on." I knew he wanted to go, but my yelling at him had made him reluctant. So I did the only thing I could think of in that moment and grabbed hold of his skinny wrist. It was the second time I'd touched him of my own free will, the first being at the restaurant. His skin was smooth and cool to the touch. I could feel his frantic pulse beating in his forearm, or at least I could imagine it so vividly some part of me believed it was real.

"But I need something to wear!" He protested, tugging away, although I could see his heart wasn't in it. That's how feebly he pulled.

"You can wear something of mine, and come back here in the morning to change," I assured him. "You'll have plenty of time. Now, let's go."

This time, the corners of his mouth turned up at me and he tilted his head back, closing his eyes... and he allowed me to lead him outside and lock the door without so much as a peep.

I kicked a Reebok sneaker across the room as we entered the apartment. Fuuma seriously needed to keep his shit where other people wouldn't trip over it upon stepping in the front door. Particularly if that someone just so happened to be his roommate and best friend.

"Make yourself at home, or whatever," I suggested to Fai. I didn't know how to be a good host. Most of the time, when people came over, they already knew my game or they were to drunk to care about how I treated them. For some reason, though, I knew Fai was still not acclimated, so tried for his sake. I showed him the bedroom on the opposite side of the hall from mine. "Here's Fuuma's room. Like I said, he took his party somewhere else because I told him I had a paper to write, so you can sleep here."

He glanced down at the mussed bed dubiously. "Are you sure? I mean, he won't come back later, ne?"

"Nuh-uh. Trust me, he's probably crashing at Kamui's place," Fai looked confused at the unfamiliar name. "His boyfriend. Anyway, I think I can get you a change of sheets if you don't want to sleep on those." He followed me out to the laundry corner. Literally, it wasn't even big enough to be called a closet, much less a room, so I'd dubbed it the Corner. I found some extra bedding and a t-shirt of mine, handed it to him.

"I think I'll wait until I go to bed to change the sheets," he said, heading off to the bedroom to drop them off. When he returned, I was sitting on the black leather sofa flipping through my essay with a laptop settled on my legs. He stared at me, shaking a little and looking downright uncomfortable and out of place.

"You can sit down." He stared at the chair, me, the chair, the empty spot beside me. Five bucks as to which one he picked. He plopped his bony ass on the cushion next to me, trying to cuddle against my side and nuzzling his face into my ribs annoyingly. "Oi, watch it! I'm trying to write here!" I snapped at him. Fai backed off (barely) to give me room to feel the air between his skin and mine, and the heat that was generating from our closeness. I almost wanted to admit to myself that I didn't find the feeling entirely unpleasant.

"Kuro-ru, I'm boooooreeeeed." Since viciously murdering him was out of the question, I swiped my hand around the floor for the remote and tossed it to him. Then, I went back to revising the essay.

"Watch something." I caught a side-long glance of him, and from the way his face had fallen, I could see this wasn't the sort of entertainment he'd had in mind for us. "Let me finish this first."

"Hyuu~ And then Kuro-puppy will play a game with me afterward, promise?" He bounced up and down like a ferret on crack.

"Sure, fine, whatever," I muttered, hardly registering his words as I tried to type my paper. It wasn't until later that it dawned on me exactly what I would be agreeing to.

"Kuro-chii, are you almost finished?" Fai whined for the umpteenth time that night. I was starting to regret having brought him over in the first place (wow, I better get a fricking reservation for VIP in heaven for the good works I was doing for the idiot). I was tempted to tell him no, that I'd be working on this for the rest of the evening, thanks, and he should just go to bed. But I knew that if I lied, he'd peek over my shoulder just liked he'd done twenty-three times before (I counted), and call me out.

"I've got two pages left," I breathed. As per usual, he looked at the screen, then sank back into the arm of the couch, letting out a huffy breath. I watched him play with his scarf while he waited. It was an aviator style, red, and tied around his neck almost like a bow. It contrasted sharply with his pale skin and hair. In a way, though, I liked the effect it had. It balanced out his 'cool' colors.

"Deconstructive crit examples," I said to myself, "examples..."

"What's that Kuro-pi?"

"Talking to myself." I flipped through my notebook.

"Mou," he pouted, "maybe I could help if Kuro would tell me what he's looking for."

Well, he had a point, much as I hated to admit it, and I was getting sick of this paper. It had gone on for twenty seven pages already. Two pages over the limit I had originally set. "Tch, know anything about deconstructive criticism in literature?"

He rested his chin in his hand, thinking. "In high-school literature, I believe. The teacher mentioned Romeo and Juliet as a good example."

I felt stupid. How the hell could I have forgotten that Romeo and Juliet were one of the biggest examples of that type of criticism? Grudgingly, I thanked him.

A half hour later, when I finished my paper, Fai insisted that it was time to play the game I had promised him.

"What d'you want to play?" I was certain I didn't want to know the answer, though. The last game I had played with him, he'd kicked my but from hell to high water. Besides, I didn't think that mall hide and seek was that great anyway, and it wasn't even a real game in my book, so the loss didn't count.

"Hmm, how about chess?"

Wow, an idea that's not totally nuts, I thought.

"Of course, Kuro-pi, your apartment isn't big enough to play tag in. What did you think I'd want to play?" Damn, had I said that aloud? He crossed his arms in front of his body, twisting back and forth on the balls of his feet. Somehow, this stupid blond made me feel like more of a dumb ass than all the people I've met in my entire life. And I had only "known" the guy for a few days.

"I'll get it," I said, "We can play at the kitchen table. I returned with the chess board, set it up on the high-set metal vintage table. Fuuma got it one day at a garage sale before we moved in together, and I'd grown to like the black, red, and gold tile combination that embellished the round piece of furniture.

"You can be white, Kuro-chuu." He purred, like he was granting me some honorary title.

"Whatever. You're getting your ass kicked either way," I informed him. "It doesn't matter to me who goes first." What he didn't know was that I'd been State Chess Champion four years running in primary school. I hadn't gotten into sports until my second year of middle school, my parents having emphasized my education more up until that point. I practiced with a boy named Ran. Once again, I though I had the match in the bag. Once again, I underestimated Fai.

"Don't take your hand off until you're sure it's what you want," he breathed. I was down to a few pieces, plus the king and queen.

"I know what I'm doing! Don't rush me!"

"Hyuu, good job, Kuro-tan," he clapped, "But I think...check."

"What the- no fucking way!" He'd moved his knight over to the left, somehow putting me in check. Now I knew for certain Fai wasn't stupid as he made himself out to be. He drummed his fingers against the table, waiting for me to save king or watch him fall into his impending doom.

This time, he used his bishop to slide across the board, right next to my king and one of his pawns. "Checkmate!" He screamed. Apparently, it warranted a celebration. At least in his screwed-up mind.

I rubbed my head, "What are you, five?" I was referring to his mental state.

"Nooo. Silly Kuro, don't you remember that I'm nineteen?"

"Must've slipped my mind."

"Yeppers, and my birthday's on the twenty-fifth of May. When is yours?" He asked. It was an innocent enough question.

"December second."

"Ah, a Sagittarius. That's a fire sign, you know." I hadn't known, because I'd never put much stock in astrology. I sometimes forgot my sign, now that he mentioned it. "I'm a Gemini, by the way. Neat, huh? Since I'm a twin and all," he laughed to himself.

"~I wanna stand with you on a mountain, I wanna bathe with you in the sea, I wanna lay-"

"Hello?" Fai spoke into his phone. "Yuui, how are you?" He beamed as he chattered to his twin about his moving in. "But it's fine now. Kuro-sama is allowing me to stay with him...yes, he's just so sweet." He reached up to rumple my hair when he said this, so I knew he was talking about me.

"Shut it," I griped. I was in no mood to be dealing with his antics at...two o'clock in the morning. I reminded myself to ask Fai where exactly he had moved from again. Or if they always kept such late hours. The kid seemed like he could go on for hours, an Energizer Bunny. As for me, though, even a double-shot of espresso wouldn't keep me awake past three in the morning at this point.

He clicked his cell off, making kissy noises into the speaker the whole time.

"Hey," I began. He looked up at me expectantly "Where exactly did you come from?"

"California," he answered. That would explain the time difference. It was only eleven there. "Why?"

I shrugged. "Just wanted to know why your brother was calling at a time like this."

His mouth formed an O, "He just got home, and he'd told me he'd call me when he did."

"Yeah, well, I'm going to bed." I said, bleary-eyed. "Do whatever you want, just make sure to shut the lights and TV off before you turn in."

He gave me a salute. "Yes sir, Captain Kuro!"

"Idiot," I muttered, too tired to come up with a more suitable retort. I started down the hallway, and there he was, right behind me. "I'm going to the bathroom to take a shower, so unless you were planning on following me..."

"Yummy yummy, Kuro-rin in the shower!" I really should not have suggested the part about following me. I'd forgotten that he might be inclined to actually go through with it.

I slammed the door in his face. When I came out, I saw that the everything had been switched off. The apartment was bathed in darkness, save for the silvery moonlight that came through the cracks in the blinds. Fai's door was open partially. Through it, I could see a lithe form tangled in the sheets. All that showed of his face was, well nothing. He slept on his stomach with his nose buried down into the pillow. The hell? I wonder if he's trying to suffocate himself, I mused. I sneaked into his room and turned his head to the side as softly as I could, my fingers just brushing the silky hair. The strands were so ghost-fine that I gently touched them again to see if the hair was even there. I pulled the blanket over his back. Our heating system wasn't the best, and he'd be cold in the morning if he woke up with nothing but a sheet around him. He made a humming sound in his throat, twitched, but remained in the position and didn't open his eyes. Sighing in relief, I backed out of the room and shut the door.

End Chapter 3


	4. The Spaces Between

So, here we are with the fourth chapter. As a forewarning, the end is written in Fai's p.o.v. Enjoy the horrible cracktastic drama, kids.

* * *

"Mraow. Mraowmraow. Mraaaaaoooow." Wait a minute, I knew I didn't have a cat. Matter of fact, I hated the damn things. Unless Fuuma brought one home. No, he hated them too. Then what the hell-

"Mraow." I looked up and there was Fai, about three inches from my face, meowing. Yes, like a cat. If I weren't so pissed off at having been woken up in such a way, I might have complimented him on his accuracy of the sound.

"Kuro-chuu, you should get up so you can make Fai-nyanko some breakfast," He playfully batted at my hair, his hand curled to make a paw shape. I swiped his paw away.

"Make your own damn breakfast," I replied, turning over in bed to go back to sleep. "It's not a hotel."

"But kitties can not fix their own food," he stated matter-of-factly. "I would, you see, but alas, I have no opposable thumbs. That's why kitty's owner must get the food for him."

"Great. Go find your owner then." I threw the pillow over my head and pushed it down firmly over my ears. Seconds after, I felt it being lifted off me and something wet push against my cheek. "The hell?" I jumped away from him, feeling the wet spot wit my finger tips. "Did you just LICK me?"

Fai's only response was to grin like the Cheshire cat himself (oddly fitting, given his current role play.) "Much better," he said, satisfied that I was finally sitting up in bed. "Now that you're awake, I thought that we could go get some coffee! I love mocha, do you like mocha, Kuro-rinta? Remember when you met me at the mall, I was drinking one. Oooh, we could go to the coffee shop at the mall-"

"Shut the hell up." God, it was way to early in the morning for this. I glance at my alarm clock, wondering vaguely why I had yet to hear it go off. Eight thirty in the morning. Well, no wonder, since the dumb ass had woken me up nearly an hour before I'd planned. "You realize I don't have to go anywhere with you, right?" He ignored me, merely pressing himself against my side, nuzzling the crook of my neck.

"What are you, a cat?"

"That's the spirit, Kuro-puppy," he crooned, "now if I could just get you to be my doggy, we'd make a lovely pair, don't you think?"

I didn't. Well, really it was too early to think about anything, but I would refute being paired with Blondie at any given hour. Stretching, I swung my legs out of bed, then to my dresser to rummage for some clothes. I pulled out a black polo shirt and some faded gray jeans.

"Out," I ordered.

He batted his eyelashes at me flirtatiously, turning over on his stomach and lying his head in the crook of his arm to focus half masted, lazy blue eyes at me. "Surely Kuro-chi doesn't expect me to turn down a show like this?"

"Yeah, actually I do. OUT." Without even thinking about what I was doing, I tossed him over my shoulder and set him down in a heap on the living room couch, then ran back into the room before he could follow.

"Moooouu, Kuro-meanie!" He cried childishly. Sighing, I tugged on my shirt and pants, ran a comb through my hair. It spiked up as usual, no gel needed. I decided I could wait until just before the party to take a shower. The thing that sounded really great about now was some coffee, and since I still had a couple of hours before class started, I could go on the date with Fai. Wait a frickin' second? Date? It was NOT a date. Definitely not a date, I reminded myself firmly. Fai wasn't the type of person I wanted to be associated with in that way. For one thing, he was a boy, and another (more important) reason, he was just plain weird. Just because my roommate was dating a guy didn't mean that I was going to allow myself to get into something like this.

He was sitting against the door when I opened it. He let out a cry of "Uwah! Kuro-chan!" as he fell back against my feet.

"Move, bastard. Are you almost ready to go?"

He scrambled upright quickly, tugging on my arm. "Yay! The puppy is taking me on a date!"

"It's not a date!" I protested. It wasn't any use, though. He'd already gotten into his airy head of his that my acceptance equaled "date", skipping around the apartment like he was one of the fairy children.

I gave him a look that said "fuck with me now, idiot, and you'll be hearing from my fists." He paid no heed whatsoever to the murderous glare I was shooting him. Instead, he giggled and shot ahead of me every single time I got close enough to grab at him. I had half a mind to grab him by his scarf and deck him square in that finely boned nose of his the next time he tried to poke me on the cheek.

That was when I realized he wasn't wearing a scarf. Of course, he hadn't brought any clothes to change into. Then, something hit me even harder than the first thought. He was still wearing my shirt over his tight jeans. I hadn't noticed before, but it came almost to his knees. It was the sort of thing that you saw when girls wore their boyfriends shirts- swamped in the thing, it was almost comical the way he looked. Unfortunately, that wasn't what part of my brain said, the annoying part that I often tried to shut up and throw duck-tape over its mouth and lock in a padded room without a key. That part of me said that Fai looked cute. Or sexy as hell, to be more accurate, with the black shirt hanging off his white shoulders and his light yellow hair curling messily around his face.

"...staring at me," he giggled.

"I was NOT!" I knew that my face was burning, and I turned away from him.

"He thinks I'm sexy!" He stuck out his hips to the side and interlocked his fingers behind his head to accentuate the pose. I refused to look at him, but he glided over to me anyhow.

"And now he's being all shy about it," Fai said, running a gentle finger up the back of my neck to one of my ears. Which did not feel good. Nope, not a bit.

"Whatever. Put some your own clothes back on."

"But that would involve wearing the ones from yesterday. And they're not clean."

I grumbled, "They can't be that dirty. It isn't like you rolled in mud. Besides, who the hell'd know?"

"But I like Kuro-pon's shirt," he purred, a dreamy look in his eyes. "It's just so comfy."

Finally, I gave in. "You wanna wear one of my shirts, fine. But you're not wearing that one." Not the one that makes you look like you just rolled out of bed from a night of...never mind, don't think about it like that. He happily complied, waiting for me as I found a shirt that was more suited to his size. I pulled out a white one with a blue argyle pattern running down the side. It was too small for me, although still too large for Fai, I saw, once he had put it on. It looked good on him, even so, baggy but not overwhelming on his small frame.

"Can I keep this?" He asked hopefully.

I shrugged. "It doesn't fit me anyway. I don't see why not. Now, are you ready to go?"

"Mhm," he chirruped.

We got our coffees (an espresso for me and a white-chocolate holiday mocha for Fai), then decided to head back to campus. Or rather, I decided after a series of events that I'd prefer not to think about ever again. But since I'm writing this, I'll spill. So, yeah, I decided to go back and forced Fai to come too. It all started the minute we walked (Fai waltzed, actually) into the mall. He started singing, no, belting lyrics to a song he'd made up on the spot. An impromptu Broadway performance, right here in our own little corner of the world. Every time I tried to grab him, with every intention of beating his face in to shut him up, he just danced away. Swaying back and forth. By now, he'd caught an audience.

"Kuro-chi, don't you know what you mean to me?

Forever I'll love my Kuro-puu- he gave me this shirt, isn't that sweet?" he said, aside, to a middle aged woman with about twelve bags, who grimaced in response. Not surprising, considering a teenage boy was blocking her way to the exit when it was obvious she wanted to leave. And then it was right back to the song, purposefully off-key in moments, then perfect pitched in others. Well, at least his voice was decent. Then again, I liked him better when he was quiet, but that rarely happened unless he was asleep.

"My puppy he loves me, he loves me so

He wants me to know...it

He give me his cloooooothes!"

By that time he was distracted enough for me to whisk him out of sight and sound and clap my hand over his mouth just to be sure. I half dragged him through the throng of people he had managed to collect as his appraisers. "Shut the hell up, bastard!"

Everybody stared at us, I think. Once again, it wasn't the loud-mouthed blond putting on a show that caught the bad attention, it was me. Some people had looks on their faces that told me they'd been scarred for life. Whether it was because of me or Fai, I'll never know. But I couldn't agree with them more. They looked at the two of us like they had been unwittingly teleported to an alternate dimension, where things like this happened normally.

Then again, being with Fai put me in a state of altered reality as well, so I couldn't blame them for thinking that. Sometimes I didn't know what kind of world I lived in that was acceptable for college boys to wear scarves and way too tight jeans, and for that same boy to go around dancing to his own show tune in the middle of a mall.

Fai grinned that maniacal grin of his from behind my hand all the while. Although I might have been the only one who noticed; I could feel his lips against my palm, warm and moist breath puffing out. Okay, now he was doing it on purpose. Remembering this morning, I took my hand away, only to grab on to his shirt collar. "Try it again and I'll make sure you can't even breathe, much less sing." He squeaked, eyes wide, and followed me out the building.

We were a couple of blocks from the campus gate when I noticed, that somewhere along the way, we'd both lost our drinks. I also realized that Fai was being awfully quiet for someone who had put on mini-musical not long ago.

"You're the biggest pain in the ass ever, you know that, right?" I asked, turning for a moment to look at him as we walked. Mirroring my own motion, he turned back, smiling ruefully. No, that's not it. I can't describe his smile at that moment, but it struck me as one of the most painful expressions I've ever seen on anyone's face.

"No one said you had to put up with me, Kuro-pi. You're free to leave whenever you like," he said, like parting from him was something easy like throwing away an old mop. I hadn't intended to do anything of the sort, in fact I hadn't even considered leaving, until that moment.

I took his shoulders, shaking roughly. "If you think I'm letting you get away after all this shit you've put me through, asshole, you've got another thing coming," I growled. He stared back, blinking slowly. "Besides, I told your brother I'd look out for you here. I'm not gonna have him all over me for not keeping you safe." Gack! Now the guy though actually wanted him wanted him, in that way. Probably. His eyes shone brightly, twin jewels in a ghostly pale face. "Don't read into it. I just don't want to have to deal with Yuui when he finds out you got your ass handed to you by some of the guys." I was well aware of the fact that I was pouting.

By now we ha

"Kuro-chuu," he whispered, "look at me. You have no obligation to care for me, no matter what my brother tells you, and I can see that it's troubling for you." He swallowed, reached out to touch my face. For some reason, I sucked my breath in and hoped that he wouldn't notice. I'm pretty sure he did, though, because he stepped back, a little sadly but with a calm acceptance. "I think I'll head over to the park area, alright? I'll meet you back in a little while before the party." I should have tried to stop him from taking off somehow- I could see he'd been upset and it wasn't the best of ideas to let him alone when he got in those moods of his. But the place he'd touched my face was still burning, tingling, so much that I just stood there in a helpless, confused sort of way and watched him skulk away dejectedly. He was already behind some trees by the time I got it in my head that I should go after him.

He'll be fine, I thought, it's not like this university's know for crime or anything. And it wasn't like he'd be very far if I had to find him. Still, something pricked at the back of my mind. Had I known that hours later, I would come to regret that choice more than any I'd ever made in my entire life, I certainly would have raced after him without hesitating, no question.

"So, where is he, Youou?" The vermilion-eyed youth turned to me. Fuuma was probably the only guy on campus who could match me in stature and power, and get along with me at the same time. Coincidentally, we'd only met a few months ago, but I thought he was alright.

"I guess he didn't show," I said, trying to keep my voice nonchalant. Truth be told, I was worried about the idiot. He had said he would be here before the party. An hour into it, and he still hadn't come around. A foreboding feeling swarmed in my stomach, but I pushed it aside for the time being. Ten more minutes. If he doesn't show in ten minutes, I'll go look for him. I opened a bag of chips and dipped one in salsa, watching my classmates.

Fuuma was dancing with Kamui, his boyfriend. There were Hokuto and Subaru, the fraternal twins who looked disturbingly alike, despite being different genders. Subaru stood by himself in the corner, the shy introvert, out of place. His sister was the complete opposite; she was grinding against her boyfriend Kakyou, a guy with white-blond hair that was even longer than hers tied back in a ponytail.

A few other girls were there, but none that I was interested in. Suki, a chick who I remembered was dating one of our teachers, and Kobato, who always carried around a stuffed blue dog she named Ioryogi, and some others whose names escaped me. I checked my watch- eight minutes. Well, it couldn't hurt to start walking in the direction of the park.

"Oi, Fuuma. I'm gonna go look for the idiot." He gave me a thumbs-up from his position hovering above his boyfriend, the only signal that he'd acknowledged my words.

I set off, feeling that it was important for me to find Fay soon, although at that point I didn't know just how right my instincts could be.

* * *

I hadn't planned to walk away from him like that. I just need time to clear my head. Without even thinking, I kept on, past the park area, past the dormitories, and to the gates of the campus. I leaped over it, no hesitations. Somehow, I was going to get away from this, all of it. Kurogane was sweet, yes, and I felt affection for him, but I needed to get out of his presence before I began to feel something more. Already I could not stop thinking about the Asian boy, and I was thinking he felt the same, but it was too much to risk. All the more a risk because of who I am and what I'd done. There are a few things only I know, and fewer still that my twin knows about me.

Before I knew what was happening, I was half a mile from the Crestview fields, down a dingy back road. It made no difference to me. There was nobody there and I wasn't looking for trouble. Unfortunately, when I rounded a corner, I saw trouble coming my way in the form of five ragged looking men, probably not much older than I was.

"Hey, babe," one sneered. He had very bad teeth and holes in his jeans. "A pretty thing like you shouldn't be out and about in a place like this."

"I'm on my way to meet someone," I said, polite as I could, hoping that the knowledge that I was male would drive them from me, permit me to make my escape. As life would have it, it made no such difference.

"But you'll stop and hang with us a while, won't you? No harm in us getting to know one another," another said.

"No," I did not like where this was going. "It's important that I meet this person, school business, you know." Damn. Come on, Fai, where is your slanderous charm that you've been hailed for all throughout your lifetime? Your wit and lies that could bend anyone to your will? Right then, the most inconvenient of moments, it had all but left me. Three of them guffawed, the other two advancing towards me. My excuse wasn't working; they encircled me on all sides.

"No!" I gasped; I gave up the semblance of calmness as one put his hand over my mouth. The one with the bad teeth. I could feel and taste and smell the alcohol on his breath, on my face. I wish that I could have been oblivious to what they were going to do to me, but it was something that I'd already experienced before. I knew what they wanted, what was going to happen, and I dejectedly awaited my sentence, being dragged to the far most corner of the alley, behind a set of trash cans by my captives. Well, at least no one would find me here before I could collect myself afterward. I've had it happened before, and the shame of it was sickening to even recollect.

* * *

Reviews make me a happy Pirate, yes they do.


	5. When it All Falls Down

Ooh, fast update for me. The name discrepancies have been fixed in the former chapter. x_x I don't even know how I missed all of that. But it's bound to happen again, so please bear with me. Also, I've decided to just put the character's name every time a pov change occurs, rather than tell y'all up here. Like I said, most of it will be Kurogane, however, these next couple of chapters will have more of the twins' thoughts.

* * *

**~Kurogane~**

Where the hell did that idiot go? I'd already asked everyone near the park if they'd seen a girly-looking blond. No one had. Then again, maybe no one had been there when he had. Something was wrong, though, no doubt. I had to keep searching, though. There was no way I was leaving him alone like this when it was near freezing temperatures. And last thing I remembered, he'd not even been wearing a thick coat when he'd left. I saw a group of guys headed in the direction of the campus. A few students know for being a rough and rowdy bunch that I vaguely recognized. They were all drunk, I realized, probably throwing there own party in light of ours.

Groups like that always stuck together, close. But it wasn't until I saw the red piece of cloth in one of the guy's hands that it struck me. For a second I considered waiting for the opportunity to separate them. But before I knew what I was doing, I was already running to them, seeing white, pinning the man to the ground in the space it took for someone to die.

"What the hell did you do to him? Where the hell is he?" I roared, punctuating each sentence by pounding his head into the sidewalk. "Tell me now, asshole!"

"Eh?"

"Not 'eh?'! Tell me where he fuck he is unless you want your pals here to see your brains splattered on the pavement." Luckily, that little threat worked. I hadn't been expecting it to. Even if they WERE all smashed to bits, there were still more of them than me. I was greatly outnumbered in this fight.

"Blondie? Dunno, he ran off. We tried to give it to him good," he laughed to himself, drunkenly.

"I don't give a frick what you did to him, just tell me where he is!" My fist connected with his temple, and he cried out. I wondered, for just a second, why his friends weren't coming to his rescue. Looking behind me told me all I needed to know. Two of them had run, understanding that they were too trashed to even attempt to fight. Good, that put the odds more in my favor. This time, though, fighting these guys wasn't high on my agenda. The most important thing to do was get to Fai.

"Dude, dude! Chiiiill oooout. You gettin' pretty uptight about this whole thing," he slurred, "but I tell you what, I'll let you in on a secret. He's tied up behind the Cat's Eye. His head made a dull thunk as it hit the sidewalk. I knew exactly where that was; moreover, I knew that it was one of the worst places to be walking around, especially for someone like Fai, and least of all at night. I'd have given anything to know what the moron had been thinking when he walked down that street. Somewhere, deep down, I already knew they answer: He probably hadn't been thinking at all. Fai had been here for a few days at most, and he'd only visited a small part of the city when he'd come with his brother a year ago. Stupid ass, dumbfuck, God I was going to kill the guy when I found him. If he wasn't dead already.

"Oi, Fai!" I called once I reached the back entrance. "Hey, can you hear?" A rustle behind a garbage can caught my eye. A flicker of golden hair peeked out from behind a plastic bag. Nothing but skin and blood and bruises, one of his skinny legs twisted grotesquely. It was the most pitiful thing I'd ever seen. I thought, no, I wanted more than anything right then for him to pipe up with a 'Hello there, Kuro-pon, or Kuro-rin or Kuro-tan, whatever bloody nickname he could figure out in that crazy head of his. A part of me wanted to beg him to tell me that the jig was up, April Fools, anything to make this not my reality.

He sat there, though, eyes staring listlessly into space. Like he was looking in my direction but not really seeing me, a terrified deer in the path of an oncoming car. "Just me, idiot." I tried to be soothing, calm. He didn't respond, even when I staggered closer to him. I saw the ropes binding his hands, and picked at them until they fell to the ground. As I did, I got a better look at his legs, swearing when got a closer look at the one bent at an odd angle.

That's when I understood that he was utterly ashamed, so much that he refused to speak, or acknowledge me. At the same time, he was also in shock. I didn't know what other things might have happened to him, but he was naked and risking hypothermia, with a broken leg and bloody hands. He gazed up at the sliver of sky, focusing his eyes anywhere and everywhere except on me. But he let me lift his shattered body into my arms as I wrapped my jacket around him and held him close to generate warmth.

"Relax," I said raggedly, stroking his dirt-encrusted hair. "You'll be OK soon." With one hand I continued to support him against me, and with the other I searched for my phone, dialing an ambulance. I gave the location as best could. Then, I carried him out to the edge of the alley, making sure my coat was wrapped tightly around him. He shivered, drawing closer, and I knew that he was seeking warmth and human comfort, as I sat with him cradled in my lap, waiting.

I hoped to God that they would let me stay with him. The way he was clinging to me, I'm sure they'd have no chance of prying Fai off anyway. I had no way of knowing how long he'd been out here, only that his teeth chattered in shock and cold, and he kept fisting his pale hands in my shirt. His lips moved against my chest over and over again, they same words but no sound came out, not even a whisper. "It'll be over soon, and I'm here."

I had no idea why I said it, and even less of an idea as to why those words in particular seemed to calm him down, but that's what happened. His head lulled and his already heavy-lidded blue eyes began to close.

"Don't sleep," I said, shaking him a little. I thought he might have a concussion, so it would have been a really bad idea. He made a whining noise in response that I almost smiled at; it sounded a little like the boy I knew. Yet, he fought against his drowsiness and cold to stay awake, nuzzling my hand for encouragement. I ran my fingers through his hair again absentmindedly, until I saw the flashing red lights and heard the sirens.

* * *

**~Yuui**~

I was in biological anthropology class when I received the text message from Kurogane:

Fai's in the hospital. He's asking to see you.

In less than the time it took to flip a switch, I, well, very nearly flipped a switch. He hadn't said what was wrong, specifically. All I could think about was my little twin going on some sort of mental breakdown. Oh, no, please. Not like what happened before.

I texted back 'what happened?', trying not to let my nerves show through. I was always the collected one, level headed in any given situation. I was also one of my professor's favorite students; it would not do to interrupt his lecturing. For all that, my hands shook violently and I felt a cold sweat on my palms. I quietly put my things away and asked to be excused, apologizing profusely for having been a distraction, and told the teacher I had an emergency. He paused for a moment, seeing my distress and took my aside.

"What's wrong, Yuui? This isn't like you." His thick eyebrows furrowed, mouth twisting. Kusanagi-sensei was undoubtedly concerned by his prized student's rather upsetting behavior. For a man of his intimidating stature, he was sympathetic as they came.

"It's my twin. I just received a message that he's been taken to a hospital and I've got no idea what's going on and I'm the only one he's got so I have to leave to see him" I said in a such a complete and utter rush that I would consider it a miracle if he was able to understand even half of it.

Kusanagi-sensei patted my shoulder sympathetically, gruffly. "Please, then, go take care of matters. You're prepared enough for the test. If you're able to come back and take it, that is"

I thanked him and saw myself to the exit. Outside, I stumbled blearily to my car and hopped in, driving to my apartment for a quick change of clothes and some money for a plane ticket.

Around that time, I got the next message 'I'm not sure you want to hear about it' Damn it all to bloody hell, this was my brother we were referring to. I wanted to find out everything about what had happened possible, especially if there was a chance I could help. Fuming, out of character, I told Kurogane so, in not so many words.

A couple of long and grueling hours later, time dragging so slowly I thought it might be ready to stop on my account, I was on a late-night flight to New York City. Not long before I'd be there to see my baby brother and do whatever it took to bring him back. Because if Kurogane couldn't do it, then maybe I could. And if it so happened that I failed, I was counting on that boy to save him in my place. Had been counting on it all the while. Fai was like a china-doll. His real face broke as easily as the masks he slipped on, whether in jest or reality. There is only so much a wear and tear the masks can take before they crumble. And I knew that sooner or later, Fai, the real Fai, was bound to fall apart as well, although I hoped it hadn't happened yet.

He was lying there, white skin on even whiter sheets, drowning in a sea of metal equipment and canals of IV fluid strapped into his arms, when I arrived. He glanced up as soon as he heard me call to him, very gently. Kurogane had met me at the front entrance and lead me to the room, then left to buy some food in order to give us privacy. His leg was set in a cast and there were bandages on minor injuries. He whimpered softly, and I rushed to him, careful of all the machines around him, and his leg, to enfold him in my arms.

"Fai, Fai, tell me what happened," I begged. He didn't answer me, merely buried his head against me, whispering.

"Like uncle...uncle...too awful. Don't wanna talk." It was then that I had some idea of what he was talking about. I disengaged his arms, wanting to go talk to Kurogane. I had a feeling that perhaps he knew of this already, more than he had been willing to deliver over the messages he'd sent me.

"I'll be right back, OK?"

I met Kurogane outside the doorway, arms crossed over my chest. Normally, I wasn't one for accusing blindly, but I had to know. "Do you know how Fai got in such a state?" Challenge him, don't back down, not with Fai's health and sanity on the line.

He gave a grim nod. "Some thugs came running from a street a few miles from the school. I got one of 'em to tell me where he was and...they tried to rape him."

"But they didn't?" Oh, God," Maybe I did not want to hear this, but I had to for my twin's sake. I could feel hysteria rising in every fiber of my being. "Not again, oh please not this again. I promised him he'd never have to go through another thing like this."

"I don't know what happened," he sighed, "He won't really talk about it, save that he managed to fight them off and hide behind the garbage bin until they gave up looking for him."

I allowed myself a tiny breath of relief. "Hang on, what did you mean by 'Another thing'?" As usual, Kurogane was blunt in his speech, and tactless to boot. Screwing up my courage, I resolved to tell him the truth.

"Our uncle nearly sexually assaulted when he was very young," I explained. Even Kurogane's expression changed to that of horror as I finished. "But he was old enough to remember it, mainly because of the fact that it was so violent, so traumatic for him."

"Bastard..." He clenched his fists.

"Pretty much. It took away his will to live- the psychological effects of the assaults," I whispered, nearly, "Can you imagine what it's like to be eleven years old and hear your twin brother, your other half, say that he wants to die? You can't possibly; he said it in his sleep, Kurogane. For a year he was on suicide watch. Apparently, it wasn't the act itself, it was what he told Fai during it that triggered the self-worth issues."

"What?"

I shrugged. "Dunno, he refuses to tell. All I can say is that this move, up until this point, has been a blessing for him. The college we attended was too close to home, so much so that Fai couldn't concentrate on his studies. I guess it pained him too much to be near to the place he'd been so brutally attacked.

"I hope he's behind bars," the boy growled menacingly, "people like that don't have a right to even call themselves human."

I agreed wholeheartedly, but knew that it was impossible, and that dwelling on the past wasn't going to keep my brother safe."The thing is," I continued, "our uncle is a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic. Right now, he's in a mental institution. And, for a long time we thought... Yuui might have it too. Schizophrenia is genetic, as you probably know." I paused, waiting for him to process my words, and continued after he nodded slowly, "Luckily, he doesn't seem to have any signs of it; any of his...tendencies are easily explained by the attack itself. Fai's condition, as well as my uncle, is what drove me to study psychology and counseling. I wanted to do anything I could to prevent something like that from happening to him or anyone."

I could tell that Kurogane understood that as well as I did. "Just promise me, no swear it, that you'll do whatever it takes to bring Fai back from this. He really likes you; I think the two of you could be good for each other, in the long run." I dared him, grasping for a connection, a thin twine that I merely speculated at. It was a target board with a center so small it appeared microscopic from where I was standing.

"Bwuah?" He sputtered, taken aback at my strange ability to hit him right where it hurt the most. Bulls-eye. Yes, there were certain advantageous things to making the study of human behavior patterns your life's work. And it helped even more when you were particularly gifted in said area. "Okay, I'll do it."

Grinning, I stuck my hand out. "Shake on it. Whatever happens, come what may...you'll stay by Fai's side."

He hesitated, gasping in a deep breath in preparation for the jump into the black water of unknown that was my brother and all that it entailed. Fai was the eight-world wonder in his eyes, something within waiting to be discovered. "Yeah. I'll be here."

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So, how was it? I hope I achieved the desired level of disturbing angst and fluff. Until next time, duckies.


	6. Sometimes we Hide

Short chapter, but I wanted it separate from the last one. Here's where Fai's erm...problems really start to come to light. Also, this is the end of the hospital scene. :D More angsty fluff gooo!

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**~Fai~**

I awoke to the smell of ammonia and medicine. A hospital smell, lying trapped in a bed, bound by a series of wires and needles. To my right, I saw a messy pile of gold hair. Yuui's head resting on the desk beside where I lay. There was no sign of Kurogane, but I had a feeling he was not far. The first sensation that gripped me was fear. Why was I here, and worse, what had happened to me?

The most terrifying thing of all was that somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew, yet I could not bring myself to bring those memories to the surface. It was too painful, now that I had regained coherence. I wanted to leave, right then, i didn't care about the IV's stuck in my arms or the sticky pads attached to my chest. I would have gotten up right there, never to face it again, had it not been for the fact that my leg was in a heavy cast. Oh, that's right. I remember.

"Fai?" My stirring caused him to awaken. "Are you alright?" I couldn't speak yet, so I just made a sound in the back of my throat, shaking my head. "You're probably thirsty, you've been sleeping all day. I'll get you something," he stood resolutely.

"Don't," I whispered hoarsely. "Don't leave." I could feel my pulse speeding in panic, my chest tightening with anxiety. I was desperate for someone to be there. Yuui sat next to me, patting my head. But it sparked an epiphany inside me. I didn't want him, or I did, but I did not feel the aching need for him this time. "Where's Kuro-pon?" I requested, quiet. My brother looked a tiny bit surprised, thin eyebrows arching together, but he smiled.

"He's gone to fetch something to eat. He'll be back shortly." He murmured, and that was the moment that I sensed he understood my feelings for the dark-haired boy. Perhaps he knew them even better than I did. And he wasn't angry at me for wanting someone else instead of him.

"Yuui..." That was the that part made me ashamed. The fact that he was so selfless, willing to give up on his school work to be with a brother who wasn't even appreciative of his support. "Yuui, please..." I sobbed. But I shouldn't have worried then, because he knew everything, like he always did. We shared blood and bone and birth. And with his clandestine talent, there was no hiding from him.

He stroked my hair, resting his head against mine. "I know. You don't have to worry about a thing, Fai." A clearing of a throat made him look up. "Kurogane's here." And he left me, took the warmth of his familiar arms away. He whispered something to the Japanese boy, and Kurogane was hovering over my bedside.

"I got food," he said plainly.

"Thanks," Yuui said. "I'm going to the restroom to wash my hands." The door clicked when he left.

Kurogane just stood there in front of the bed for the longest time, finally breathing out "How do you feel?"

"A little sore, but otherwise I'm fine," I lied, trying to smile for him, but that made the cut on my lip sting so I stopped. Not that it mattered anyway, he couldn't care less about whether or not I as smiling. That was the vibes I got from him, and I wanted them so badly to be true.

He cleared his throat again, and I prepared to listen to his haranguing me. "Why'd you go out there? You're a fucking dumb ass for walking around a place like that on your own, know it?" Clearly, he wasn't only angry with me, maybe not at all, but I could see in the tense set of his shoulders, the way he ground his teeth, that he was upset as well. Hostility and worry clashed together in his blood-red eyes, hitting me with the force of a tsunami. The only thing I had to be grateful for was that he found a way to control his temper. I doubted I'd be able to handle his raging in my state. It would be too much. He stepped closer to my side of the bed, fixating his gaze on the white plaster cast around my left leg. "I should've left to come find you sooner," was all he said, a pained look alighting his tan face.

"Kuro-chuu, no," I attempted to go back to where we'd been, even though I must have known it was futile. "Please don't think that. It wasn't your fault. You did nothing except save my life, and that's something which I'll always be grateful for." Liar. "Besides, I was the one who made the stupid choice to go out there," I hissed, "you shouldn't have to bear the consequences for my actions." Please, please, Kurogane, can't you see? Let me go- I'm not worth all this."

"If I'd gone to look for you ten minutes before I had, this shit wouldn't have happened," he snapped. "So don't tell me I had no fucking part of this when you know damn well what I'd do for you!" He swallowed with noticeable difficulty, Adam's apple bobbing, reached out to touch my cheek. I flinched and he drew his hand back quickly.

"Sorry, Kuro-pon, but I deserved what happened to me and you know it."

"No you don't; nobody deserves something like that."

I felt the hysteria rising in me. "Yes, yes I do. You haven't seen me, you didn't see what he did to me." I wasn't referring solely to the incident in the alley, not only that.

"No."

"I'm sick and weak, it's what I get for being so easy," I nearly sobbed now, tearing frantically at the IVs. "I want out I want out I WANT OUT. PLEASE." Searing pain as the needles ripped, clear fluids dripping everywhere around me, mixing with the salty wet of my tears.

Kurogane's arms were suddenly around me, not at all like Yuui's had been, forcing me into restraint. They were more solid, harder, determined to keep me safe, even if it meant hurting me some in the process. I heard him press the call button, barely, as my mind drifted into a half-coherent state. "It's not your damned fault, you didn't ask for that to be done to you. Hell, even what happened in your past, I really don't think you came asking for that either. It just happened." He held onto face roughly, pads of his thumbs wiping away the dark trails on my cheeks. Somehow that calmed me enough to suck in a few breaths and close my eyes in exhaustion.

I looked at him curiously as was possible in my confused state of mind. He knew?

"Your brother... he told me why you were like that. He told me what happened to you as a kid," He started, rubbing the back of his neck. I missed the warmth of his hands on my face. At the same time, I was bewildered. Yuui had told him? Something as awful as that...how could he not turn away from me after learning what I'd allowed to be done to me? I turned from him, listlessly waiting for the nurse to hook the needles into my veins to deliver a sedative. I close my eyes and felt hands on either side of me, turning me to face properly as someone else methodically hooked the IVs back into their rightful place.

"What happened?" I heard the woman ask. I refused to look at her, though she sounded very sweet, from her voice alone. None of that mattered to me now.

"He just...something set him off," Kurogane replied; the woman made a sound in the back of her throat, like she was angry. That, in turn, fueled his fire. "Listen, lady, it wasn't me. I was the one who kept him from fucking ripping his veins out." He seethed.

"Young man, watch your language! If you disturb the patient further, I'm going to have to ask you to leave," she said, sans the melodic voice; it was strictly authoritative. No! Kurogane couldn't leave me here alone! I took a deep breath, forcing myself to smile weakly and pitifully as I possibly could, and faced the nurse.

"Kuro-tan has been keeping me company," I said childishly. "He's the only one here right now, and I'd really appreciate it if he could stay. I promise and incident like that won't happen again." Right, Kurogane? I met his eyes briefly, and he nodded imperceptibly, except to myself.

"Mr. Flowright, we have a policy for cases such as yours..." she wanted to do her job, understandable, but she was dwindling in her stance. Somehow, I mustered up a disastrously pathetic look. Eyes watering, lips trembling, whimpers, the works.

"It's all right if he must go home, I'm not going to break overnight, miss. Although I'm not certain how long I can last being here all alone after all that's happened."

Hook line and sinker. The idea that I was safer with Kurogane there than without was tossing about in her flipped one corner of her mouth toward her chin, cast her eyes around the room suspiciously, and then quietly left us alone together. Finally, Kurogane gathered the courage to sit on the edge of my bed, hesitatingly resting his hand over mine. It was blunt, larger than mine by a noticeable amount, and the color of light nutmeg. The contrast between the two of us was astounding, even in the the grimy fluorescence of the hospital setting. I gripped his hand tighter, feeling him tense, then relax and return my hold, calloused fingers sliding over mine roughly. It was at that point that Yuui returned, and Kurogane scattered off the uncomfortable mattress like a cat caught dancing on the table after dinner. Which, by the way, we had conveniently forgotten about.

"Well, well, I see no one's bothered to eat any of the delicious Chik-fil-a," my twin smiled tenderly at me, picking up a chicken sandwich and unwrapping it from the foil. He slathered mayo on it, pretending not to take any note of the way Kurogane was standing with his head turned adamantly to the side to hide his blush.

"You should have some, you two. Especially Fai, he needs to regain his strength and we all know how lousy hospital food is." He laughed at his own joke, more than likely it was his own private lark inside his head, not the one that we'd heard. He always did keep his thoughts to himself, preferring to observe others whilst not allowing any of his own defining traits to show through. As though he were practicing for something, although what that something was, I didn't know.

"Did you get fries?" I asked hopefully. I could really go for some steaming hot waffle fries right then. He plucked them out of the paper bag, chuckling at me as I made grabbing motions with my fingers. "Gimme." He took one and popped it into my mouth, and I had to hold it between my teeth in order to keep the morsel form falling out of my mouth as I chewed. I demanded more, but Yuui was all too happy to play the game, until finally I took the carton from him. "Kuro-ru, why don't you sit down and eat?" He was standing alone on the far side of the room, looking perplexed. I thought he hadn't wanted to interrupt our time together, so he was keeping to himself. "You can play too! Does the puppy want Fai to feed him? Come here, Kuro-wanko! Come, doggy!" I coaxed him over with a waffle fry, dangling it in front of me.

He stalked over, with a look of half disgust and half amusement, and swiped it from my hand. "Noooo, you were supposed to do a trick for that!" Yuui even giggled at that. I was glad because it meant that for the time being, my past was forgotten. Kurogane wasn't all that amused anymore.

"Bastard, I don't care how sick you are, I'm not your dog." He was only a fraction as threatening as he normally was. It was the lack of sleep, I guessed. We had to have been there for hours now, and that was only what I remembered. There was no telling how long he'd been with me on the night I was attacked. Or was it still tonight? There were no windows- I had no way of telling what time of day it was.

"How long have I been here?" They looked at me, puzzled.

"Nearly two days," Kurogane informed me, staring down at his thumbs. "I brought you here very early yesterday morning. Fai came in later, around midday or so."

"And what time is it now?"

"Judging by the food, I'd say dinner time," Yuui said teasingly. "It's alright, Fai. They say you can go home tomorrow, if you feel up to it. You'll need to take it easy for a couple of weeks, but the leg's healing fine. And, when you're ready, they're going to schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist." I nodded. "You're going to be alright, ne, Fai-chan?" I smiled at the name that my friend Himawari had jokingly given me when we first met. At that moment, I believed him, at least I wanted to, more than anything. I decided that I was going to pull through, if only for the two of them.

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You read it. Now review, damnit! I mean...pretty please? I offer strawberry cupcakes in return. Or, y'know, more Kurofai goodness. Whichever works.


	7. Brighter Days

Thanks to all who favorite'd/reviewed/alert-listed this story! So, this is set about three or four months after the hospital incident with Fai...enjoy!

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"It's nice to finally meet you, Fai," Tomoyo curtsied, splaying her lavender floor-length skirt on the ground. Ever the gentleman (read: dramatist), he bent down on one knee and kissed her hand softly.

"The pleasure is mine, my sweet." Good grief, if wasn't absolutely sure about the fact that this guy was gay, I'd have pegged him for a womanizer. As it were, he stood up, wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and we set off for the theater. This time, though, Fai wasn't participating. No, my sister had gotten tickets for a show called Wicked, a musical, and since she didn't have her license yet, she conveniently arranged to buy tickets for the showing in the city where our campus was located. When I'd told her that I knew someone (I wasn't willing to say friend, certainly not boyfriend, not at this point in the game) that would be more enthusiastic about it than me, she squealed high as a dog's whistle in to the phone.

"You have a boyfriend! Oooh, this is so exciting, I must meet him. I'm buying tickets for the three of us!"

"Tomoyo-"

She blathered on, not paying a lick of attention to anything I said. "Won't it be fun?"

"Sure, why not." I wasn't impressed in the slightest. That was Tomoyo, though, always the little deviant, taking her own road, never mind what anyone else thought of her ideas. You were going along, and you were going to LIKE it.

Pretty much her obsession was photography and fashion. She's aspiring to become a famous clothing designer, or wedding photographer. Whichever manages to catch hold of her first, apprenticeship-wise. This little interest was shining full blast now as she whipped out her Nikon (with 12.3 megapixel quality and zoom) and asked Fai to pose for her. Fai, being Fai, happily agreed. To tell the truth, it was a little sickening how well my...partner and my little sister were getting along.

"Over here by the tree...can you lean against it very casually? Yes, perfect." Click. Click. "OK, now over here." She took his hand, leading him to a spot in front of a picturesque building. Or one that she thought was picturesque, is all I can come up with. I thought it just looked like gray slabs of concrete and windows. It was nothing compared to Fai, and that was the contrast. He was wearing a messenger-boy cap, with a red button up shirt and black vest, and checkered kicks. The scarf was black and white today. Funny thing was, I'd grown used to seeing those scarves and hats, a constant in the ever-changing lives we lead. Even still, it seemed that he had a the same multitude of scarves and caps as he did assets of his personality. The most dynamic person I'd ever met, in every sense of the word.

Tomoyo positioned him to sit with his knees up to his chest, fingers folded in a lattice, on the ground in front of the building. Never once did he complain about having to sit on the concrete, even though it was still early spring an the ground was cold and damp still. It was New York, what was new?

"Oi, we need to get going if you don't wanna be late," I warned, consequentially saving Fai from any further "torment". Not that he was suffering; no, he looked like he was enjoying every second of this attention. It had been so many months since his last episode that I'd almost forgotten his histrionic personality. I hoped that it would stay that way for as long as my sister was here.

For all she knew, Fai was just a very pretty blond guy who loved to smile for the camera and had the body type equivalent of a young female model. No chest, no butt, slender legs and extremely lean build. That was all she needed to know about the guy, as far as she was concerned. I wasn't exactly ready to go public with our dating, much less Fai's psychological issues.

"Whoops, almost forgot," she apologized in a voice that barely masked her amusement. She reached out a hand to help Fai off the ground; this backfired, as he was a head taller than she, so she ended up being the one to almost fall back instead. There weren't many people who WEREN'T taller than Tomoyo, who stood at just five feet one inch. She linked arms with him, dragging him along Broadway street, chattering on and on about something to do with her designs and would he please model for her? He acted the part, nodding accordingly and smiling softly at the right times. Every so often he'd look over his shoulder at me, grinning. I just raised my eyebrows back in response. Such is life.

We had tickets for the center balcony, which ended up being better than front row seating. I'd never liked that much anyhow; you had to look up to see what was going on, and it was too hard to see half of it, regardless. Fai sat between us, squealing with Tomoyo at every other song. Of course, he was a theater student, how could I think he wouldn't know this play?

Then some guy came waltzing in, being a generally pompous ass. It turned out he was the prince that had traveled to When the blond girl in the pink dress hopped across the stage like a deranged monkey, singing about how she was going to maker her green-skinned roommate Pop-u-lar!, I was reminded of the boy sitting to my right. It made me grin to myself, seeing Tomoyo and him so happy to be here.

They applauded, hyuu'd, and shouted in awe after the final song at the end of the first act, sang by the green witch and her bubbly blond friend. When the play ended, they both had tears in their eyes. The two friends parted, but before the green one "died", the sang about how each hand changed the other For Good. didn't see what the big deal was, but then I've never been emotional. The green one could have just come back later and told her friend that she wasn't dead when all the hoopla hand quietened down.

All in all, I thought it was not the most horrible thing I'd ever seen. Secretly, I kind of enjoyed it, but I was never telling that to Fai or my little sister. They'd have me going Broadway every other month if I did.

"That was spectacular! Wasn't it, Fai-chan?" Tomoyo skipped ahead of us on the sidewalk, turning backward to face us. "Kurogane?"

"Nothing special," I said. She leaped at me, with an intensity to rival Fai's, and jumped into my arms. I caught her in mid-jump. She was lucky she was so tiny. "Get down, Tomoyo." She giggled, landing daintily on her six-inch heels as I lowered her to the ground. Why the hell a fifteen year old needed to wear shoes like that was beyond me. As a matter of fact, I never got the reason why girls insisted on wearing those shoes anyway. They looked like they were a form of torture device to me.

"Hyuu Hyuu, what a sweet oniichan you are, Kuro-puu," Fai teased, lovingly (annoyingly) latching onto my arm and nuzzling his nose into my biceps.

"Moron, I just got her to stop bothering me; you don't start now," I scolded mildly. He ignored me, continuing to snuggle against the upper part of my arm. That was when my sister pulled out her black camera. "No freaking way." She smiled, an evil, masterminded, smile that only younger sisters were capable of, and so well know for.

"Oh yes, I need a picture of the two of you before I leave to go home!" She protested. "I know, why don't you to kiss?"

Yeah, well, the problem with that was, even though we'd been unofficially dating for a few weeks now, we'd yet to actually get into any of the actions normal couples often did. Including kissing...or holding hands, or any public/private displays of affection, really. How was I supposed to tell that to Tomoyo. She waited eagerly, flicking her long purple-black hair out of her pale violet eyes, steadying her camera.

I should have expected what came next. Whilst I was apprehensive about PDA, or showing lovey gestures, he had absolutely no qualms with it. He swung his lithe body so it was facing mine, grabbed onto my shirt with his fingers, and pulled me in for a mind-blowing kiss. Luckily, I realized enough to close my eyes...after the flash of the camera had already shone brightly in my face. I couldn't hear the snap of the shutter, but I would not have cared if I did. Fai's hands roamed over my back, heating the skin there, and he made a sound in his throat.

After the shock had worn off, I put a hand on the small of his back to steady him against me as our mouths moved over each other's. I vaguely heard Tomoyo sigh, and that brought me back to reality, although Fai was locked in the passionate fantasy land still. I stopped kissing and pulled away from him, smirking at the drunken look on his face; his eyes fluttered open and he gradually closed his puffy red lips. Damn him for being so adorable, I smiled at him, watching him look up at me in confusion, then at Tomoyo in realization.

Tomoyo had her camera out alright, but she wasn't taking pictures. No, it was worse than that. She'd been filming the entire spectacle. "Ohohohoho, won't Kendappa be proud to learn her otouto is treating his little lover properly," she cooed, winking at me. "Or, you know, I could just keep this for blackmail." I wanted to hit a girl, my own little sister, for the first time in my life, and God, I wanted it badly.

"Don't you dare, brat," I swore at her under my breath. It wasn't like our family was against my having a boyfriend; Kendappa was a lesbian for heaven's sake! But the teasing wouldn't end if they got wind of the fact that Fai and I were an 'item'. I thought of something. "Unless you want me to tell Sakura that you're crushing on her, I suggest you don't." Hah, problem solved.

She was aghast, "You wouldn't! Fine, it'll be our little secret, if and only if you take Fai and I for ice cream." She crossed her arms smugly.

"Ice cream! Yay! Let's go, Kuro-rinta!"

"Hn, fine," I accepted the truce with feigned reluctance, leading the way to the nearest Coldstone.

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Shortish chapter, I know, but there's more coming soon, no worries. In the mean time, tell me what you thouht. :)


	8. The Home You've Found

Here's the longer chapter I promised, chock'd full of angsty-fluffy goodness. Yeah, those barely count as words, but whatever. And to ShingetsuxMangetsu, sorry to say that I never wrote an icecream chapter, although that would be adorable. Maybe I'll add something in later? To all the rest who reviewed, thanks a million 3. This story's taken off pretty well for a stupid writing experiment, eh? Whatever, on to the story

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**Kurogane**

As Tomoyo and I waited for Fai to look through a souvenir shop for a gift for his brother, my little sister shuffled up beside me, wringing her skirt in her hand.

"Yeah?" I asked

"You said..." she hesitated, "That Fai had been sick just a few months ago; in the hospital. I was...I was just wondering what exactly happened." She let out a shaky breath, biting her lip nervously. I knew that she wasn't being nosy, she just wanted to figure out if she could help or not. Still, it was hard to know how I was meant to answer her question.

"Mhm, but I don't think it's my right to tell you. If he wants to, he will," I said, almost apologetically. My sister was the only person who ever received that curtsy, except maybe Fai. "All I can say is that he wasn't exactly sound to begin with, and what happened didn't exactly help."

Tomoyo stared at some pigeons, sighing. "I can tell; poor guy seems as if he's lost or something. You know?" I met her eyes, questioning and vibrantly violet, with mild surprise. I did understand now. For the first time, someone had put what I'd always thought of the blond into words. And wouldn't you know it would be Tomoyo. As innocent and doe eyed she could be at times, she had a wisdom far beyond her age. There were times when I had to remind myself that she was only a high school sophomore, that I was the big brother, because so many times it felt like the other way around.

"Uh huh," I replied, turning to watch him through the glass, fingering a gold and green scarf and a tee-shirt with the words I heart NY on it. He saw me staring and waved cutely. Not that I even thought it was cute, but if anything were, it would be Fai.

"Earth to Kurogane," Tomoyo chirped, like she'd been trying to get my attention for the past four minutes. With the way she grinned so evilly, and looked back and fourth between me and my boyfriend, I started to think that she had. "Do you think we can hurry him along? I need to get back to the airport in a couple of hours, and there are some places I still want to visit."

"God knows he's been in there long enough," I agreed. "I'll go drag him out of there." I pushed off my hood and stepped inside. I found him in the back of the store, just stepping out of the dressing room. "Oi, moron." He pretended to ignore me. "Hey, are you even listening?"

"Well, Fai certainly is," he teased, "But I have no idea who this Moron guy is. A friend of yours?"

"Come one, Fai."

A smirk crossed in front of his lips, that look he got when he was going into his impossible mode (unless Kurotan does some ridiculous thing for me!) "Not until you tell me how nice I look in this shirt, and give me a kiss."

"Here?" He bounced up and down on the balls of his feet and nodded. "No frickin' way, dumb ass. There are people here," I hissed. I got ready for him to pull a face, but this time he didn't. He continued to grin in that way that scared me.

"OK then, I guess since he's too shy, I'll have to give Kuro-chi a kiss instead!" And he leaped, pinning me to the wall, and kissed me for the second time that day. It was different from the first in that it was shorter, because I didn't give him much time before I took him by the shoulders and shoved him toward the cash register. He refused to get into the line yet, though, clinging to my arm. "Now, Kuro-wanwan, compliment me on my shirt," he pleaded.

Figuring it was the only thing that would get us out of there, I whispered to him that the shirt was nice. "Can we go now?" I huffed. This was getting stupid.

"Mmmm...alright. I'll just pay for these things and we'll be on our way!" He waited for a cashier to take him, and I headed outside to check on Tomoyo.

She stood around, rubbing her gloved hands together for warmth. I had to admit, she had a practical streak running beneath her current of fashion sense. Although she was wearing a dress, she had leggings on underneath, and black boots that came up to her knees. She had on a leather coat with purple fur lining the hood. Tomoyo was very feminine, but she knew how not to sacrifice her health for beauty.

"Any progress?" She inquired.

"He's paying for his stuff and then coming out," I said. Just moments after, Fai appeared with a shopping bag full of gifts. As we headed back in the direction of the airport, Fai pulled out all of the presents he'd bought, one by one, to show us. Currently he held a silver wrist watch showing an image of the empire state building on the crystal face, in a pre-wrapped box,

"For Yuui," he explained. "He's been asking for a new one since our last birthday. I thought it would make a nice early Christmas present." Then he took out an iridescent sculpture made of glass, bearing the words I heart NY, with the city in the background. It glowed purple and blue, reflected in the light. "And this is for Tomoyo-chan!" He exclaimed with flourish. She raised her eyebrows, gaping.

"Fai, you didn't have to get me anything," she gushed, "how thoughtful of you." Yeah, yeah, give me a break already.

He shook his head adamantly. "Not another word, it was my pleasure to buy for someone as special to Kurogane as you are." Agh, I wanted to throw up somewhere, but that would earn me death glares from Fai and my sister, so I had to be content with making a gagging sound in the back of my throat.

The last thing he took out was an elongated box, similar to the one that held Fay's watch, but bigger. On the black leather case was written Ginryuu. Must have been a company name or something. To be honest, I had no clue what was inside there, but it piqued my interest. I knew that Ginryuu meant 'silver' dragon', from what little Japanese I'd remembered since I was a kid. Fai smiled, cunning and proud of himself- whatever it was, he felt he'd accomplished.

"This is for my Kuro-rin," he purred, "I picked it out special for you~." He uncovered the leather lid, revealing a pocket knife with a black handle engraved with a silver fantasy dragon emblem at the base, with red gemstones for eyes.

"A knife?" I mouthed. Tomoyo knew I was an avid collector; she had sent me one every birthday as a tradition, but I'd never told Fai about it. I hadn't kept it much of a secret or anything, but I didn't remember him ever seeing my collection of blades. The only other person who really knew was Fuuma...hm. "What?" Wow, way to be coherent.

"Does Kuro puppy not like his present?" Fai wailed in mock despair.

"It's not half bad," I said quickly, trying to divert any unwelcome attention that we might have attracted and calm him down at the same time. "Good quality, from what I can see of it. I'd have to get a closer look to see how much it'd be worth." Dammit, had I just said that? Now the guy was going to think I was going to sell it or something. I could see those baby blues tearing up already. This guy was the most sensitive and easily offended person I'd ever met in my entire life.

"You were going to pawn it off somewhere, is that it?" He whispered. "After all the trouble I went to pick it out for you, make sure it was something you would like to have?" Uh oh, he was actually upset, for real this time. I reached my hand out to his face before he had a chance to skulk away. God, this was embarrassing. Tomoyo put her hands in the pockets of her coat, probably biting her lip to keep from scolding me (mother that she was), or considering just ignoring me for the time being. Either way, it was unnerving, more so because my emotionally insecure boyfriend had been offended, and was now tensed as a wild animal psyched up to run from a lion. And I was that lion.

"Listen here, moron, ask my sister," I started, "I don't give away things that someone important to me gives me, no matter how much they're worth. There's no fucking way in hell or on earth that I'd just let it go," I snapped, fingers grabbing tightly to his chin; wide blue eyes stared up into mine, wavering. Right then, I was freaking him out, but I didn't give a flipping eff.

His lips quivered, like he was trying to speak but had no clue what to say to respond to me. Finally, he averted his eyes, tensed his shoulders like he was preparing to back away. I didn't let him though; I had no intention of letting him walk off in the sort of mood he was in. I'd learned my lesson on that months ago. You didn't let a guy who was off his rocker go wandering through the streets of New York City when he was like this. Fai fit that description perfectly.

"You're staying right here," I warned him, "I'm not letting you go off like that."

"Get away from me," Fai hissed. His fringed bangs covered part of his face when he shook his head. "Please, leave me be." Instead of letting him go, I wrapped my arms around him, holding onto him even more tightly. Yeah, it was embarrassing like this, but that was the price I'd pay to keep him safe.

"I'm still bigger than you." Hah, remind him of that and he'll realize he's being an idiot. He tossed his elbow upward, satisfied at the pain he knew it caused when it collided straight with my chest. "What the hell, bastard? Can't you see I'm doing this for your own good?"

Fai outright refused to answer me. I still held him securely, all the fight had gone out of him, but he still wouldn't even acknowledge that I was there. How in the world someone could ignore a person they were practically standing on top of, occupying the same space in existence, I will never understand. But Fai managed somehow.

Tomoyo, standing alone for the whole episode up until now, touched my arm. "Let me help." I just stared at here incredulously; how the hell could she help? What could she do?

She tugged at my arms, trying to get me to let go of the blond, but I wouldn't.

"He isn't going anywhere, right, Fai?" She said gently, petting his hair with a tender affection. "Come on, it's going to be alright. Keep telling yourself that, okay? That's what my friend says; that when she's in the darkest time, the light is going to come through. Everything will definitely be alright." Fai turned in my arms to look at her.

"Your friend?" His eyes were slightly misty and pink from crying, blood vessels having broken during his fit.

"That's right. Her name is Sakura," Tomoyo said to him. Luckily, when I let go of him, slowly, Fai was too riveted by Tomoyo's account of her best friend (coincidentally the girl she was madly in love with) to move away. I had a feeling that had something to do with it- the love in Tomoyo's voice when she spoke of the red-headed girl was pretty evident, even to someone like me. I knew Fai would pick up on it. "She's the most wonderful person I've ever known, Fai-san. I wish you could meet her."

Fai nodded, "She sounds like a very sweet girl, Tomoyo. Just like you." He took in a shaky breath. "Thank you...both of you. I'm fine now," he whispered.

"Sure?" I asked, not daring to believe him just yet until he could face me and say those words.

He cracked a smile that lit up his whole face, maybe brighter than the whole city at night. "Absolutely," he said, slipping his slender hand into mine and the other into Tomoyo's. I wondered about what exactly had made him clam up. Yeah, I had been a little insensitive, but I didn't think that was what had triggered his histrionic episode. Although I had no way of knowing now, I made a note to pry the truth out of him later. Not in front of Tomoyo, she was too sensitive to handle the story of what had happened to Fai several months ago. Besides, it would ruin her happy vacation.

As we came to the bus stop that would take us back to the campus to get Tomoyo's luggage. Then we would drive to the airport to see my sister off, Fai had grown chattier, more like his usual self. It never took long for him to get back to normal, even when he had been hysterical less than an hour ago. He shifted on the bench so that he was cuddled against me, his head on my shoulder. I thought about shoving him off me, but I understood that he was really drained and I didn't want to risk him having another panic attack. Tomoyo perched on the edge of the bench, fumbling through her purple ipod shuffle, finally settling on a song. She bobbed her head up and down with the beat of the music, something catchy and upbeat if the speed of her head-bobbing was any indication. After a minute or two, she yanked one of her ear buds out, turning sideways, and tapped Fai on the shoulder.

"Fai, have you heard this song?"

"Mmm?" He sat up groggily. "What's that, Tomoyo-chan?"

She pushed the headphone into his left ear and switched on the music. " I heard it on the radio a long time ago, but now I don't know who the artist is. Listen."

He closed his eyes, leaned back against the wooden bench. "When You Were Young. It's by The Killers."

"Ah, I though I recognized the singer," she agreed with him. "You like them, Fai?"

"I suppose. I like the band but I haven't listened to this one much." He said distantly.

"It reminds me of you," she admitted. His eyebrows came together in a frown and he handed the ear bud back to her.

Now Tomoyo had piqued my interest. "Let me hear," I demanded. She came to my side of the bench and handed me one earpiece, keeping the other for herself. I stuck it in. The whole song didn't remind me all that much of Faii, unlike what she said, but some parts of it did.

Trust my sister to find a song that described someone to a T. Then again, she'd always done that when she was young, made soundtracks for our life, or a manga she read, a show she was watching at the time.

The song finished, and the bus pulled up a few minutes later. It being crowded as New York is wont to do, we squeezed into one seat together. After a few minutes of being smashed against a window and Tomoyo complaining that she was falling off the seat, I decided that I didn't like the arrangement much.

"Sit in my lap," I ordered Fai. He looked at me like I'd gone mad. "It's really cramped, there'll be more room," I explained to him, returning the look with one of my own. The one that was telling him he was the idiot of the century.

"Fine," he muttered irritably, shifting until he was sideways on my legs. It still left room lacking for my sister, but it was somewhat better. Faii curled against my chest, yawning. He rested his head under my chin like he was a cat. A really tall and lanky cat that took up just as much space as I did. "Kurotan makes such a nice pillow," he mumbled under his breath, which almost made me growl on default. I just made a sound in the back of my throat, hoping to discourage any other cutesy remarks he might want to make.

"Shut up, moron," I whispered in his ear. "There are people around." Not the least of which was my sister, who I would never hear the end of if she got the idea to start teasing me

"Fluffy puppy," he giggled in his half coherent, delirious state. Tomoyo chuckled at him, but I doubt he even noticed. There was something I had noticed, however. His body was exceptionally warm against mine, warmer than it was meant to be, I thought. I reached up to check his forehead and felt the skin burning. Great, another thing to look out for; the guy had a fever, more than likely. Not that it surprised me, with him wearing nothing but a long sleeved shirt and scarf. There was not a chance in hell of that outfit keeping anyone warm. Even Tomoyo had better sense than that. You didn't go around wearing something like that in the middle of a New York winter.

The next time I checked on him he was out cold.

"He's not feeling well, ne?" My sister asked quietly, polite enough to let Fai rest.

I couldn't help my expression from becoming bitter and angry. "The stupid guy has a fever."

"Oh, well, it's fine if he stays behind to sleep while you take me to the airport. If you think it best for him," she added. Unfortunately, in spite of the fact that she tried to be chipper about it, I knew that she secretly wanted Fai to come see her off as much as she wanted me to be there.

"Nah," I promised, "I'll get him some Tylenol and he can sleep in the car. I'll make sure he gets to bed as soon as we get back, though." I ran my fingers through his hair as the boy we had been talking about shifted in my lap, trying to get him to stay still and sleep. "Go back to sleep, idiot. We're on here for a good twenty minutes at the least."

I was so focused on the guy that I failed to see Tomoyo smiling the sappiest smile ever. "What?"

"Nothing. You're being so sweet, taking such good care of him... I never thought..."

"Thought what?" I asked.

She spoke slowly, hesitantly, then gathered courage and said firmly that she'd never thought I'd find somebody I would want to be tender and protective over, like I wanted.

"How would you know I'd want someone to watch over?" I demanded to know, feeling like I wanted to growl at her, except that might have woken Fai up. Which I didn't want.

"I just knew," she said, pensive and wise beyond her years. "Woman's intuition. And don't forget, I'm your little sister."

"Figures," I grumbled. She covered her face with her hand, laughing to high heaven.

Arranging Fai more comfortably on my lap, wrapping my arms around his skinny frame (geez, I had to get him to eat more), I allowed myself a partial smirk in her direction. To be honest, she was the wisest person I had ever met. And I think she knew that.

* * *

So...reviews make authors happy, ya know. But regardless, I hope you liked it. Expect the next chapter soonish.


	9. Only the Young

Geez, where'd the time go? I hadn't realized it's been so long since the last chapter. Which, btw, has been fixed. Originally I had switched the twins names around, so even with proofreading, there's bound to be a mistake of which one is Yuui and which is Fai. xD

Warning: There is non-consensual sexual content. (ie, rape) of a minor in the beginning of this chapter. It isn't very graphic, imo, but if you do not wish to read, skip the parts that are marked by double line-breaks.

* * *

**Fai**

I'm in a room, the one that Yuui and I shared in our old house. The one we lived in with our parents. But why am I here now? We moved a long time ago. Oh God I don't want to be here, not where IT happened.

A noise, a thump. And then a scream. No one came running; from the light source, it was the middle of the day. I froze, unsure of whether I should find out what was going on or run as far as possible from the source, from the house, from everything here. Fight, fright, or flight response, Yuui would have said. I was definitely frightened of what I would find. In the end, I sneaked out of the room to where I had heard the noise.

And there was one more, highly inappropriate word to complete the set, yet it was the most appropriate for the scene being played out in front of me: Fuck. Ashura, my father's friend and coworker, above me on the couch, pinning me to the cushions. It didn't matter that we were out in the open. Nobody was home and he was always careful to do it when he was certain he wouldn't get caught anyway. He had picked me up from school early that day, meaning to take me out for a treat, he'd said. I hadn't doubted him at that point, not then, because he was my father's best friend, although I had always felt something was off about the man.

I saw my younger self struggling beneath him, shirt gone, pants half unbuttons. It was the first time of many. Somehow, I was able to hide it for nearly four months, until the day I'd broken down in the bathroom and told my twin brother everything.

* * *

**Warning: Sexual Content**

* * *

"No," the younger me whimpered, "No, please don't do it again! I promise I'll be good! I'll do anything you want, Ashura, just please let me go!" Sobbing. Heart-wrenching, throat tearing sobs that still echoed somewhere in me tore from him.

"But you look so lovely, just like this, Fai-chan," Ashura whispered, vile creature that he was. "I think I like you best here, helpless as a little lamb."

I wanted to throw up, to come crashing in and save my former self. But I knew it was a dream, even if it was in the form of a memory. More than anything, I didn't want to go through this again.

"Please, please let me go," I begged, squirming on the couch as he dug his fingers into my wrists to prevent escape. "I don't want to do this..."

He flicked his tongue along my jaw, then plunged into my mouth. One of his hands shifted to hold both of mine, the other snaking inside my open jeans roughly. "Yes, my little one, it would appear that you do." He jerked his hand, causing the boy (me) to cry out.

"No-ngh-this isn't right, stop it!" I screamed, but my voice wasn't as reviled as it should have been, and that made me feel like the the most disgusting thing in the world. I saw the look on my face, remembered precisely what I had been thinking in that moment. "I want to die! I'd rather be dead than let you do this to me!"

Unfortunately, all my protests only encouraged him further. Schizophrenic, they'd said, he'd not been in control of is actions. But I had never believed them. All I saw was the sickest person I had ever come across in my young life, the one that was ripping away my self worth and meaning every single time he touched me. I watched as I writhed helplessly against his hands, despite all my efforts not to. All I remember was that I hadn't been able to help it then, the physical pleasure mingling with emotional torture. Finally, it was too much. The sticky wetness left a strange feeling behind. The next thing I knew, Ashura had opened his pants, pulling out the swollen organ there. Both of me looked away. "Be a good boy, you know what I want."

I refused, jerking my head to the side and burying my face in the back of the leather couch. It would be easy to clean up the mess afterward.

"Little one," I hated that name, "If you do not cooperate, I shall have to be more forceful." He yanked my head up, and I cried out.

"Stop it, please!" Instead of heeding my plea, he pressed my face against his member, tugging at my hair until it stung.

"Come now, Fai. You're making this harder than it is. If you're a good boy to me, I'll give you a reward," maybe he thought he was being sexy. But to me, fourteen years old and terrified beyond words, it was just sick. But I gave in, because I was afraid of what might have happened had I not. I had wanted to gag at the feeling of him, or better yet, bite him, but how would I explain that? Looking now, it might have been the best course of action. His moans increased in moments, he rocked his hips forward, pressing further and further into my mouth, and then I almost DID choke at the feeling as I felt something wet spurt into the back of my throat. I had no no choice but to swallow it, too far gone for me to spit it out, and besides, he hadn't pulled away yet.

Luckily for me, he let me go after that. "Such an obedient child," he purred, stroking my hair. I flinched away from him. Sighing, he buttoned his clothes up and walked to the door. "And if anyone asks, I took you out for some delicious ice-cream."

"Yes, Ashura-san," I whispered meekly. The look in his golden eyes alone was enough to make me want to cry, but I bit my lip to keep the tears from falling.

* * *

**End Sexual Content**

* * *

The younger me staggered to the bedroom after he left to pick out new clothes, then to the bathroom. I scrubbed at parts of my body until they were red. I had all the time in the world; no one would be home for hours. And yet, I knew it would never be enough time to clean myself the way I wanted to. 'It won't happen again," I said aloud to myself, over and over, "It won't happen, and if it does, I'll have to remember that it was my fault...I must have done something...Oh God, what could I have done to deserve this?"

Everyone had told me I was perfect, angelic. I had believed them and their praises of my talents, my body. If I hadn't been so enamored of theater, I might have become a model. That's what they all told me. But now, I there was no way I could even fathom showing myself off to anyone; I had become so tainted. I would be damned if I allowed myself to cry now, though. I had to be strong for Yuui, and Mother. She was unwell, frail of body and mind. I could not allow my problems to push her over the edge on which she was so precariously tottering over. Better to just keep quiet and deal with it myself. I sank to the plastic floor of the bathtub, the shower splashing lukewarm water over me, drawing my knees up and burying my head into my crossed arms.

No, no no no. I watched my fourteen-year old self in the shower, wanting to pull him into my arms and tell the shaking boy that this was absolutely, under no circumstances, NOT his fault. To soothe and comfort the pale and shivering creature that had driven himself into a ball of despair. I could feel the agony overcoming me, intensifying with every breath in, a burning ache in my chest and in my mind. Something inescapable, impenetrable to everyone, unable to be helped. Only thing to do was ride it out.

I can do this. It's going to be all right. It will all be fine. All right? All right.

* * *

**Kurogane**

"Are you sure he's well enough to come with us," Tomoyo whispered, looking down at Fai. He was wrapped in a cotton blanket, shivering violently. What I didn't want to tell her was that I wasn't worried about how he'd be in the car, I was more concerned about leaving him alone in this condition.

"Yeah. To tell you the truth, I just have a bad feeling about leaving him by himself," I finally admitted. She nodded in understanding, brushing Fai's bangs away from his sweaty forehead and bending down to kiss his hair. I glanced at her when she rose up, meeting her glistening violet eyes. "Don't be too near to him; I don't want you getting sick too, not before you go home."

"Youou, don't worry about me," Tomoyo countered. "I'm not sick like I used to be. And I'm not a baby." She wasn't a little child anymore, true, but she would always, always be my baby sister.

I ruffled her long silky black hair, tugging at the ribbon that held her ponytail. "Sorry, kiddo. You're stuck with me for now," I murmured. To my chagrin, she made an 'aww' sound, looping her arms around my neck. Her head didn't even reach my shoulder. It made me realize just how much I had grown, but more than that, it reminded me of the time we'd been apart. How could it have been over a year since I'd seen the only real family I had left? I bent my head, reluctantly returning her embrace and kissing her on top of her white bow.

"You're the biggest softy in the world, oniichan," she whispered. "I hope that Fai knows as well. It is so clear that you care about him like no one else"

I cleared my throat, uncertain of how I was supposed to respond to that. "I guess..."

She tilted her head to look up at me in confusion. "You mean...he doesn't know how you feel about him?" I shook my head. "Oniichan!" She exclaimed, then quietened, seeing the sleeping blond just a few feet away. "He needs to understand. Fai is like a little bird, I can see it. If you don't treat him properly, I'm afraid he might never come back from whatever it is that's haunting him." Her small and delicate finger poked hard at my chest. "So you are going to promise me you'll tell him the second I leave," a glance to the form balled in the blankets, "well, at least as soon as he's coherent again."

"Tomoyo, screw off," I snapped. Immediately I regretted the words, preparing for her to cry, or slam the door in my face and get a taxi cab to the airport. Sometimes, even I had to admit I had no tact. I didn't want this to be the last conversation with my little sister I'd have for God only knew how many months. She didn't look as hurt as I was expecting her to. In fact, she touched my face softly.

"Oniichan, it's okay to love someone," she told me. Like it was the most simple thing in the world to tell Fai that I felt so strongly about him.

"No," I denied her words, "It isn't. I couldn't protect him, I'm not fit to love anyone that I can't keep safe from harm." Flashes of our mother came to mind. Not now, not the time to think about it now.

"Kurogane- Youou," she sighed. "You have to learn to let the past go. How do you expect to help Fai let go of his past, if you can't find a way to come to terms with your own? If you were expecting it to just happen magically -POOF- you've got another thing coming, and you are the biggest hypocrite I've ever known."

Damn, the brat was right. I suddenly felt the urge to laugh harder than ever. Here my sister was, giving me a taste of my own medicine, pointing out that I wasn't even following my own advice. "Tomoyo, there is no fucking way you are only fifteen," I grinned. "You're right, I'm being stupid." It was time to stop beating around the bush and tell him what he meant to me. The idiot.

Tomoyo pretended to fan herself. "Well, I try." She pulled out her phone to check the time. "Oh my gosh, we're late!"

As soon as we were fitted snugly into my car, and she had double checked for her things, we were headed to the airport. Fai was sleeping in the back seat, stretched out. He'd barely even woken when I'd picked him up and settled him in there. I couldn't keep myself from glancing back in the rear view mirror to check on him, but I tried to be as discreet as possible about it. The last thing I wanted to happen was for Tomoyo to realize what I was doing. And anyways, this was Fai we were talking about; he might have rolled off the seat when I hit the brakes to hard or something, especially since he was so out of it.

The bad thing was, Tomoyo DID realize. It took a few minutes for me to get why she was glancing between me and the back of the car, snickering.

"What?"

She whistled softly, nonchalantly. "Oh, nothing. It's just that someone I know is being very adorable and looking back every other second to check on his sleepy lover~!" God, no wonder she and Fai got along so well; they both did that aggravating pitch-raising thing when they were teasing. They probably went to a secret "Learn to Piss Off Kurogane Academy".

"Was not," I pouted, though I was loathe to admit it. "I was checking to make sure no cops were following us. Do you know how fast I'm having to go to get your ass on that plane when it takes off, huh?" There, that was a good enough excuse.

Well, it would have been a perfect excuse, had it been aimed at anyone else but my sister. Tomoyo, being said sister, didn't believe it for a second. "Uh-uh-uh, I see it, Kurogane. No deny-sies!" She waggled her finger patronizingly in front of me, then poked me on the nose.

I swatted her hand away. "Some of us are trying to DRIVE here," I snapped irritably. "And some of us are trying to sleep," I added. I probably shouldn't have, because she got that disgustingly sweet look on her face again.

"All right, I'll be quiet now," she snickered again, "But only for the sake of poor Fai's rest."

Through the remainder of the drive, I fought the urge to break the steering wheel between my hands out of frustration

* * *

Yeah, I know the Ashura thing has been done a thousand times over, but it fits with his "madness". Although I don't believe they had that sort of relationship in the actual TRC manga, I've chosen to portray it that way here.

Review, it's good for you.


	10. Setting Our Sights

A few days after Tomoyo had left to go back home, Kurogane was tending to a deathly sick Fai. He had tried to bring his fever down with cool rags and rest and some ibuprofen during the first night. When Fai had only gotten progressively worse, he knew that this wasn't something to be handled with a couple of Tylenol pills. The boy was resting in his bed (they had long since given up on Fai having his own apartment, seeing as how he was always staying over with Kurogane anyhow, and it would be cheaper for him to live there.)

His hair had dulled, having not been washed for nearly four days now. His cheeks were flushed and on the rare occasion he woke up and opened his eyes, they were horribly glazed over. Kurogane felt like kicking himself for not taking Fai to the medical wing sooner. The only thing that had stopped him was that his boyfriend had screamed in utter terror, putting up more of a fight than a person so sick as him should have been able to. Somehow, some way the frail blonde boy had convinced him that he would be fine. Kurogane made a vow to remind himself to never trust the bastard again, especially in matters concerning his health.

"Idiot," he whispered, running his hands through the damp blond hair on Fai's forehead, then reaching for the cloth again. "You didn't have to fake being healthy. I'm not that much of a jerk. I know when someone needs to see a doctor." Of course, the boy did not answer, too deep in his sick sleep to even recognized the words. Fai did, on occasion, make sounds of contentment when his hands scrubbed over a particular place on the his head. There wasn't anything in the world more pitiful to Kurogane than someone who was so ill they were helpless as Fai was.

Once he had tried his best to cool Fai off again, wiped the sweat away, he reached for the thermometer. The device was one of those older models for children, made to be shoved into an ear. He clicked the button and waited. One-oh-two point six, much too high, especially when you considered the fact that he had been taken medicine that should have brought it down.

Kurogane really did not think he wanted to know what poor Fai's temperature would be if he had not been giving the Tylenol pills to the boy so religiously every four hours. The boy with red eyes decided that he was going to call a doctor, and he was prepared to take him the the hospital right then, if need be. Fai shifted, snuggling into the pillow beside him in a very childish manner. For some reason, he had, in his stupor, asked that Kurogane give him an extra pillow to lay beside him. Probably the blond wanted to have the feel of something next to him, and because it would not have made sense for his only caretaker to catch whatever ailment he had, the pillow was the next best thing to a cuddle toy.

When he got off the phone, having described all of Fai's symptoms, the doctor suggested that he try for a few more hours to get the boy's fever down, even giving the OK for an increase in the ibuprofen and encouraging Kurogane to strip Fai down completely naked and try sponging him down, then leaving him for a little while, even if he complained that he was chilled.

Well, not that he would complain, being as exhausted and sick as he was, but Kurogane was not sure he would be able to bear the sight of him shivering from the cold. He was, to begin with, not even certain he would be able to undress the boy.

Still, if it was going to help Fai, Kurogane would find a way to do it. Even though he highly doubted that he was ready to see Fai naked yet, he found a clean rag and some water, which he set by the bed. He sat beside Fai, wondering if it would be better to try and wake him up or let the boy sleep. In the end, he figure the former was better, as he would probably remain that way throughout the ordeal anyhow, thereby eliminating any awkward explanations. Slowly, he lifted the covers off the blond, holding him up in a sitting position with one hand, and working his arms out of his t-shirt with the other. Fai whimpered at the cold, trying to curl into a ball to retain his warmth.

"Sorry," Kurogane apologized briefly, laying him back against the pillows and taking hold of Fai's pajama pants, leaving him solely in his underwear. Surely that would be enough. The boxers were thin material, and he was bare enough as it was. The least Kurogane could do was leave the guy his dignity.

Before the teenager could protest, he lifted his legs and arms up, wiping him down from head to toe. Then, he turned Fai over onto his stomach and washed his back. That was the way Fai slept normally, so he figured it would be more comfortable for him that way. The doctor had said to leave him with only a sheet to keep him from getting chilled from the air, but any other covering was strictly forbidden.

"Kurosama..." Fai moaned, now half awake. "Cold...blankets." He twisted around with his hands, trying to grab Kurogane's over-sized black and red comforter. The Japanese had already moved it off the bed however, leaving him with nothing but the thin sheet. "Cold...need warm." He blinked his pale blue eyes open in confusion. Why was he not allowed to stay warm? He felt like his body would never stop shaking, and trying to stay awake only made it worse.

He felt Kurogane's hand on the back of his neck, offering a bit of heat, then it was gone just as quickly as it had come. Fai vouched for cuddling himself around the cushy pillow, trying to keep himself from shivering in that way.

"Not yet, idiot," Kurogane said. "The doctor says I have to leave you like this for at least an hour. Your fever is too high for me to let you try and sweat it out under a bunch of blankets." And if this doesn't work, a cold bath's next, he thought grimly.

He wished he didn't have to do this to Fai, to see him so lost and trembling like that. He tore his eyes away from the fair skinned boy, heading into the kitchen for some apple cider. Maybe Fai would want some when he woke up. Nah, he was more a fan of hot chocolate or something else that was equally likely to fill your mouth with cavities in under three seconds.

He picked up his manuscript for the book he was writing, and his mug of hot cider, and sat in the armchair by the bed where Fai was sleeping fitfully. It was a dream, he had been having them before, and they normally went away after a few minutes. Besides, Kurogane needed to get to work on his paper. He had neglected it in favor of caring for Fai (not that it was even a choice), but now he was falling behind.

Kurogane had been wrong this time. The nightmare did not go away in matter of minutes. As he sat there, torn between watching Fai and revising his paper, Fai's thrashing about became even worse. ***

Again in the same room. Fai wanted so badly to believe that he was not in here, that he was somewhere far away in some very nice place with Kurogane. Cuddled in his bed. Yes that sounded very nice. He only wanted to be anywhere but in this house. Because he knew what was going to happen to him, just like the last time. Would he ever be able to escape the nightmare that had become his waking reality for the past six months?

"Fai, my sweet little Fai. Good little one, my pet, come here and sit with me a moment, won't you?" The creature said. No, the man was no longer Ashura Kingsman, the man who had given him candies after school and the friend his father trusted so much. No, in his place was a monster with long hair tied into a ponytail, and golden eyes that bore heavily, unavoidably and inexplicably down on the boy in the room, making him feel like cornered rabbit. There was the younger version of Fai again, somehow even more thin and frail looking than before. Dark blue circles accented his blue eyes, bags weighing heavily under the lower eyelids, as if the boy had not slept in weeks. Well, he had not, and Fai already knew it, because he remembered it. Didn't want to remember it, and definitely did not want to re-experience or relive the ordeal, but here he was. Just as he though he had put the past behind him, prepared to start a new life with Kurogane, he had come full circle, in his mind.

"What's wrong?" He cooed, as if talking to a small animal, like the frightened bird that Fai was at such a vulnerable age. "Do you not want to come be with me? Because I want to be with you." He hissed, sensually, or what he probably thought was sensual. To the young teenager it just sounded creepy and disgusting. He never wanted to be in the same room with him, much less sit on the very couch where he had had that...that thing done to him.

"No sir, I'd rather go to my room," Really, that was a terrible choice of words, and Fai regretted the them immediately. Ashura moved off the couch and crossed the room to where Fai stood, cowering, in breakneck speed. Fai squeaked as he was flung towards the couch (so precisely and wisely covered with a dark towel that could be easily washed, and even so, the stain would not show through if it did not come out), and pinned his arms over his head...

Afterward, Fai was allowed to go to his room. He could barely manage to walk there, and he collapsed straight onto his bed, pulling a pair of sweat pants on and covering himself with a blanket just before giving himself up to exhaustion.

He sobbed in his nightmare, mostly unintelligible things, but Kurogane could make out the desperate pleading, and painful moans. And the strange sound of...a name? in the middle of it. What in hell had that been about? He jumped out of the chair, and took hold of Fai's shoulders roughly. Bad idea; Fai only flung his arms and kicked in his desperate attempt to escape whatever imaginary monster was holding him captive, nearly hitting Kurogane in the face. He had to wake him up some way, or at least calm him down. Thrashing about was only going to make him feel worse in the end.

Thinking quickly, the red eyed boy straddled the one on the bed, but gently. He didn't try to hold him down, just hovered over him, wondering what he should do. It was times like these that he desperately wished that he could see inside Fai's mind, if only to protect him from the monsters inside himself. Whatever was happening inside Fai's head, Kurogane was sure that it was not a mere dream. In the meantime, Fai caught his scent, and pulled him on top of him, finally relaxing. After a little while, Kurogane was able to get Fai to let go of him, but he made sure to stay close at hand, turning away from Fai, but allowing him to cuddle close against his back, against his better judgment.

"Kuromyuu..." The blond mumbled, burying his head into the warmth. Kurogane sighed, wishing all his time had not been wasted when he could be sitting there being productive. He really did not want to have to face Ms. Hinoto when she discovered that the manuscript of one of her most prized students was going to be handed in late. That was, if she agreed to take it at all; she was one of the strictest professors on the campus. Well, it couldn't be helped. The boy knew where his priorities lay, and they had never been in his grades. He could become a good writer without having learned all the nit-picky things that teachers swore you had to in order to get anywhere. No, right now it was good enough to be here, keeping Fai safe. The little waif in question had wrapped his arms around Kurogane, trying to be as close as possible in his desire for something to keep him warm and safe

"Kurotan" he whispered, nuzzling his face in between his shoulder blades.

"Fine," Kurogane grumbled. He turned over to face the boy and tucked his head under his chin, wrapping his arms around his waist. There, at least in that way he wouldn't be inhaling Fai's sick germs too much, and Fai could have the warmth he wanted. He kissed Fai's forehead quickly, gruffly, noting that he did not seem quite as hot as before. He would be sure to check his temperature when they woke up, however, just in case.

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**A/N:** Yeeeah, sorry for the late update, guys! Life gets int he way sometimes, ya dig? This chapter didn't exactly move the plot along well, but be kind and leave reviews for me, please duckies? x)


	11. Discovering Love

**A/N:** 29 story alerts and 27 favorites! Awesomesauce! But not even thirty reviews? ~sadface~

Well, I'll take what I can get And, now we have fluffy/sexy goodness to (hopefully) counteract the angst. No actual naughty bits in this chapter, but perhaps later. Ohohoho~. This chapter is all Kuro-tan, bee-tee-dubs.

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**Kurogane**

I woke up to the feeling of a light weight on my chest. Opening my eyes, I saw Fai sprawled out on top of me, mostly naked. I almost jumped, if it had not been for the fact that he was looking like he was practically dead in his sleep. Well, dead was better than the way he had been before. Oh, shit, wait a minute. I wondered if he was really even breathing...yeah, he was. His chest rose and fell against my own raggedly. As much as I would have liked to let him sleep, I knew that checking to see if his fever had gone down would be the better thing for him. As slowly as I could, I sat up, taking Fai' sweaty body with me. That was a good thing, the fact that he was drenched in sweat and that he was no longer so blazing hot.

I just reached out to touch his forehead with my hand, and thankfully, it was cool to the touch without even having to use a thermometer. The guy still looked a bloody wreck, though, so I tucked him back into the sheets. I sort of felt like it was wrong to do that, putting him back on the sheets he'd been sweating out his fever on all night, but I figured it was better than having to wake him up or move him in order to change them. When I checked the clock, it dawned at me that it would probably be a good idea to go ahead and wake him up anyway. The idiot had not even had anything in his stomach, or even down his throat, for nearly two days now. The last time I'd managed to force water down his throat without him heaving it back up or coughing his lungs out was yesterday would be way too dehydrated if I didn't find a way to get him something to drink at least. So, even though he looked for all the world like he wanted nothing else but to stay that way for a good week, and I wanted to let him, I sat beside Blondie and shook him awake, against my better judgment.

"Hey, stupid," I grumbled. He grumbled back in response, although it was nowhere near as coherent as I was. God, he sounded awful. I stroked his hair, trying not to wake him to fast. I knew that it would more than likely induce a pounding headache, if he were anything like me. Whenever I had been sick, and my mother hand sat me up all of a sudden, from a deep sleep, I always woke up and felt the room had some sort of hellish vendetta against me, making me want to roll my eyes back into my head.

"Wha...?" His eyes blinked open, then shut, then open then...shut.

"No, not time for sleeping," I growled, shaking him a little bit harder. "You have time for that later, right now I've got to get something for you to drink." I held him in a sitting position.

"Too tired. Can't it wait, Kuro?" He whispered, nodding off on my shoulder. Any other time and I might have indulged him, but something inside my guts told me that he was half faking anyway. I figured that the best thing to do was move him to the chair in the living room, where he could rest while I made him something, but that way he would not get entirely to comfortable to fall back into a deep sleep. I put my one hand under his slim, long legs, and the other on his back to support him against me.

"Put your arms around me," I ordered. He weakly raised them, looping them about my neck. Well, that was not going to offer very much support, so I still had to be careful about how I carried him. I got to the sitting area and dumped him on the black leather chair. Just like I'd predicted, his head slumped against the arm, to tired even to stay in an upright position even with he support of the headrest. "Don't get too cozy, I'm getting you something to eat."

I searched through the cupboard for a few minutes, until I finally settled on something relatively quick and easy. Some chicken noodle soup, and some hot chocolate to wash it down, if he felt up to it. On the can, there were little pictures of noodle characters from some sort of children show. For some reason that made me almost smile to myself; it would make Fai happy, if he was coherent enough to even take note of the fun shapes he was going to eat. After I had found a pot, I turned on the burner and mixed he soup with some water to dilute the salt in it. About half way through, I put a mug of water into the microwave, setting it for two minutes. I leaned against the counter, waiting for the soup to heat up, and in the meantime, I poured the chocolate powder into the boiling water.

"Hey, Fai," I walked into the room, holding the cup of hot cocoa (with marshmallows, probably the worst that could be done for a person as sick as he was; I ought to have made him drink some chamomile tea, or something with Vick's, but who in the heck wanted to be tortured with that shit? It was bad enough the guy was sick already.) I looked around, the chair was there, but where was the blond head of messy hair that should have been peeking out from the top? "You in here, moron?"

The back of the recliner faced the me, so I had to walk around to see what had happened. For a second, worry stabbed into me. I moved around to look at the other side of the chair And there was the idiot, lying faced down on the floor on the other side of the chair like man who had passed out from drinking too much, with his head buried in his hands. Resisting the urge to laugh at how stupid he looked, I picked him up and set him back on the leather seat, roughly. I was tired of playing. Sure, he had been sick, but he had overused his sleeping quota for the year, even so.

"Oi, wake up." I shook him roughly. "I got something for ya." When, after a few slow moments, he finally seemed lucid enough, and I saw that he would stay that way for the next while, I pushed the mug of cocoa into his cold hands.

"Ohh, Kuro-pi made me hot chocolate," he squealed, although it came out as more of a sniffle," How thoughtful he is." He took a sip of it, praising my efforts.

"All I did was put some stupid chocolate flavored powder into some water," I griped, but I was secretly pleased that Fai liked it. Changing the subject, I asked him if he was up for some soup.

"Yes, please, Chef Ou-Wanko!" He affirmed. His voice still came out hoarse, but I guess that was to be expected from a person who had not been using his for days. Now that I thought about it, this was the longest I had gone without hearing Fai tease me, or talking at length; I had to admit, somewhere deep down, that I had missed it.

"Wait here, I'll go get a lap tray."No point in making him get up to come to the kitchen. The kid was probably not strong enough to make it there on his own anyhow, and now way Jose was I going to carry him. Light as he was, the guy could still throw out your back if you weren't careful, or used to picking him nodded, sipping on the hot drink, kicking one of his legs against the recliner like he was a little kid at the park. Well, he must be feeling better.

Fai wasted no time polishing off the chicken noodle soup with noodles that were shaped like Pokemon. "Look Kuro-rin, it's a Squirtle, isn't that cute?" I squinted at his spoon. The thing looked nothing like the overly cute upright blue turtle from my childhood.

"Sure, if you say so," I agreed, or at least I pretended to. Somehow, I think he knew that I was only doing it to shut him up, so he ate the rest of his meal in silence.

"It is hardly any fun when you don't engage in the conversation, Kuro-pon," he sighed exasperatedly, like he was scolding me or something, as he pushed away his food to the end table.

"I'm not five years old, and neither are you. Shut up."

"Waaah, Kuro-pipi is so mean to me. Bad puppy, bad!" He flicked me on the nose with his finger. The guy was definitely getting back to his annoyingly cheerful self, no doubt about it. I wondered what had possessed me to think that I had missed him doing something like this. Where had my pride gone?

Somehow, we both ended up on the floor, me straddling Fai, and him with his golden blond hair fanning out willy-nilly, all over the carpet. It was such a light color that it almost blended in with the floor. Well, actually, I know how it happened. During the split second it had take for Fai to wail in disappointment, my feelings of anxiousness over how sick he had been, coupled with relief, had overcome me.

"Do you even realize how much you scared me, asshole? Huh?" I grabbed him by his shoulders, for he was still only half dressed. "I nearly had to drive you to a hospital again, that's how sick you were! How do you think that made me feel, thinking you might die on me for the second time in two months? You know what, I bet you didn't think about it, did you?" He blinked up at me, all pretensions and smiles wiped clean from his face.

"Kurorinta-"

"Shut the hell up!" I growled, and he did. I was not in the mood to be messed with. "Do you know what it was like having to deal with your sorry ass when you were sick?" Maybe I knew, in the back of my mind, that it wasn't really his fault, that my bad temper was because of my lack of sleep when I was taking taking care of him. Well, come to think of it, that really did make it his fault, but it was no good yelling at him. I should have felt guilty that I was yelling at the boy who had been too weak to move or talk less than twelve hours ago. That was what I should have been thinking, but I wasn't. All I wanted to think about, the one and only thing I was even capable of feeling at that moment, was that I had been sure I would have lost him if had I not had the right mind to call the fucking doctor. Fai looked up at me sadly, fiddling with the buttons on my brown polo shirt. For some reason, I have no idea why, that calmed me down a little.

"I'm very sorry, you are absolutely right. You should not have to put up with someone like me," He whispered, letting his hands fall to the floor at his sides. "So, thank you Kurotan. Thank you for being my knight and staying with me, even though I have never done anything to deserve your kindness." Tears welled up in his cerulean eyes, spilling over onto his porcelain cheeks, no matter how hard he squinted them away.

"Hey, hey," I said, taken aback by his emotional outburst. I really shouldn't have been, but I had forgotten that he got this way easily over the past week. Feeling some of the anger dissolve away, I lay down beside Fai on the ground, rather than hovering above him, and put one arm around him, rubbing the small of his back. "You don't have to get so upset. I'm only like this because I haven't been sleeping for upwards of about a week." I heard him gasp, jerking to look at me.

"I've been sick for a week? That long?"

"Yeah, ever since Tomoyo left," I thought of something. "Do you remember taking her to the airport?"

He shook his head. "But poor Kuro, no wonder you were such a wreck. You were probably as tired as I felt." He laid his hand on my chest, over my heart.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked. There was no freaking way the guy could be tired after that six day nap he'd taken. "You can't be saying that you didn't actually sleep," I said incredulously, sitting up and pulling him into my lap. He seemed like he was doing anything but looking at me, avoiding my query. "Answer me."

"I had nightmares," he finally admitted, "for a lot of the time. I did sleep, but for some reason I just kept on feeling like I hadn't, no matter how much I tried to get rested." He pushed his face into my neck. I sighed, wondering for the first time if the time that when Fai had tossed and turned, talking in his sleep, were not those times he was having nightmares? I had originally thought that they were induced by the fever, but if they were bad dreams...wow, no wonder poor Fai still felt like crap. I would have too.

"You can tell me about them, if you want," I assured him, "the nightmares, I mean. If you think that would help you get over faster." Geez, something must have been wrong with me for me to have offered to talk Fai through his fears. Most of the time, I hated having to talk about people and their stupid, trivial issues. Fai smiled up at me, thankful, and I knew I had made the right decision then.

"Maybe in a little while; right now, it hurts too much."

"Fine," I agreed. Then, I pulled apart from him so I could look at his face. "But tell me one thing at least...?"

"Mhm?"

"Who is Ashura?"

Fai gaped at me as if I had shot his favorite and only puppy. Well, that would have been me, I guess, but you get the picture. He stammered, searching for a way to back out of the conversation. "I- he was- I mean-" he shook in my arms, desperate for a way to end the spectacle he was making of himself. "Well, it was a dream, ne? And dreams are all related to the subconscious mind, so it was probably just the name of one of my schoolmates...yes, that must have been it." He laughed, but it sounded forced. "You know how complex our brains are, Kurochii...well, then again, it isn't as if you have a brother studying to become a psychiatrist, so perhaps you don't. Anyways, it was nothing, nothing at all. You don't have to worry about me, doggy."

Of course, I didn't believe him for a split second, and I think he knew that. Right now was not the time to be too forceful with him, though, so I just nodded along. "Yeah, well, maybe you're right. But whoever it was, you seemed to have an...interesting relationship with him." Hah, the look on his face told me that I'd hit the mark. He backed off, looking bewildered and a little bit hurt, seeing that he was trapped.

"What exactly did you hear, Kuro?" He whimpered, drawing his knees up to his chest protectively.

For a second, I wasn't sure if it was even a good idea to tell him what he had said in his sleep. After all, wasn't I always the one saying that the past didn't matter? So what if he had some sort of relationship with another guy. Ashura was a guy's name, I knew that much. I shouldn't have been doing this to him, not like this. Except I had to know...was this the man that had torn Fai apart as a young teenager? Judging from the fearful look on his face at the mention of the name, I guessed that I had been right.

"I'd rather not talk about it, if that is alright with you," he said. I crawled over to him, taking his elfin, small chin with my fingers.

"No one said you had to," I reassured him, "all I'm saying is that when you are ready, I'll be here."

He looked at me with the most astounded look I have ever seen on anyone's face. "Thank you, thank you so very much. Kuro-chan is so good to me..." Then, those red-rimmed blue eyes were even closer than before, his body nearly touching mine. I closed that gap between our faces, kissed him. The first kiss we'd had since Tomoyo had been here visiting, and only our third overall, and that made it all the more amazing. Well, that and the fact that Fai knew how to do that figure eight thing with his tongue...I stopped thinking about how the kiss felt, and just went right on to the experiencing when he pushed me into the couch. I held his body against me, feeling the heat of our chests together, of the delicate bones of his back, and he nuzzled closer, breaking the make-out session to deliver little nips to my neck. After every few nips, however, he would lick tenderly at the little spots that formed. Just as I was getting into it, roaming my hands all over Fai's sides, then finally down to his ass, the phone rang.

"You don't have to get that, you know," Fai gasped, arching into my feather-light touch.

Reluctantly, though I got up and looked at the caller ID. "It's your brother," I told him, and tossed the phone to him. As soon as he started talking, somehow pushing words out through his kiss-swollen lips, I went to get a cold drink. Really what I needed was a cold shower, but for some reason I didn't want to miss the sight of Fai looking like that.

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Reviews for more sexy Fai? (and Kuro, of course!)


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